ROBOTNIK'S GRAND DOMINATION
by personperson999
Summary: Doctor Ivo Robotnik is tired of getting no respect, and is prepared to beat the ever-loving stuffing out of everyone to get it! Will he triumph ferociously or will he become nothing more than an obscene joke? Contains lots of bad spelling, over-the-top fight scenes, gratuitous crossovers with everything I can think of, and general all-around insanity.
1. Ep1: Robotnik Hates That Hedgehog

I own nothing, fair use, blah blah blah. Seriously, SEGA employees, if you're reading this, you probably don't have enough to do.

Episode 1: Robotnik Hates that Hedgehog

Listening Music: Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog- Robotnik's Theme

watch?v=aO_z2nO3ByM  


"I CAN'T BELIEEEEVE THIS!"

Robotnik's raging echoed throughout the laboratory, the intensely loud noise shattering all the monitors in the room. He didn't notice or care.

"I HATE THAT HEDGEHOG! HE RUINS MY SCHEEEEEMES, HE ESCAPES MY TRAPPS, HE HELPS… NICE PEEEEOPLEE!" Robotnik continued throwing his temper tantrum. Coconuts walked in, holding a sealed letter addressed to Robotnik, and ducked under a flying wrench as he did so.

"Your Maliciousness! A letter came for you today from-" "GIVE ME THAT!" Robotnik snatched the envelope out of Coconuts' hands, tore it open, and began to read.

"Hey Ivo! I heard about this and I thought you might be interested, since you're so desperate to prove how badass you are. Your friend and Rival, Albert Wily."

"Wily? What kind of harebrained scheme is he planning this time?" Robotnik muttered to himself. A flyer was contained in the envelope, and he gazed at it intently.

CALLING ALL WARRIORS!

DO YOU WANT ULTIMATE POWER, RESPECT, AND ALL THE HOT ANIME WAIFUS YOU COULD EVER DREAM OF?

THEN TAKE THIS SCOUTER, AND DEFEAT THE OPPONENTS IT GUIDES YOU TO TO TAKE THEIR POSITIONS! THE WINNER WILL GET COMPLETE GLOBAL CONTROL!

MAY THE BEST CONTESTANT WIN!

"IS THIS TRUE?" Robotnik shouted. "Could I finally get the REEES-PEEEKT I DESERVE?!" Coconuts scratched his head. "I don't know, your evilness. It might be a trap-"

"I WILL GET ALL THE LAAAADIES!" Robotnik was running off into his lab, completely ignoring Coconuts' advice. Coconuts then facepalmed repeatedly.

"I AM A GENIOUS!" Robotnik came out of his lab, carrying a rather large raygun, with an odd looking vial in his other hand. It pulsed and glowed like a radioactive hamster.

Coconuts sighed. "What did you make this time, your Evilness?" He rolled his eyes in contempt, but Robotnik didn't see this, so he kept on bragging as usual.

"I have invented the SUPER STRENGTH POTION! When I drink it, it will give me the strength of a HUNDRED MEN! OBSERVE, COCONUTS!" Robotnik chugged the potion in one gulp, and started to glow. He started screaming like he was about to turn super saiyan but he couldn't because he's not a saiyan duh you dumpass.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I OUT TO GIVE MYSELF A PRRRROMOTION FOR THIS!" Robotnik ran out of the room yelling about how awesome he was, while leaving a massive trail of destruction in his wake.

Coconuts facepalmed again. "Why do I keep working for this madhat? There isn't even a good healthcare plan."

Robotnik stood on top of the hill, eyes jammed against his binoculars, scanning the horizon for his hated blue enemy. "Be vewy vewy careful." He muttered to himself. "I'm hunting hedgehogs!"

He had left a massive chili dog on the hill in front of him, and sure enough, that blue rat was coming along to take it!

"Wow-eee! Man, this is my lucky day!" Sonic reached down for the delectable meaty treat, and Robotnik fired his raygun at him, singing his quills by a millimeter. "What's goin' on here-"

"HEEEEEEEEDGEHOOOOOOG!" Robotnik stomped out, aiming his raygun at the annoyance that had plagued him all his life. "IT'S ABOUT TIME I TOOK BACK WHAT WAS MINE, AND BECAME THE UNDISPUTED RULER OF MOBIUS!"

Will Sonic defeat Robotnik like always?  
What tricks does Robotnik have stashed away in his flab?

Will there ever be a point to all this?

Find out on the next exciting episode of ROBOTNIK'S GRAND DOMINATION, "Robotnik's First Triumph!"


	2. Ep2: Robotnik's First Triumph!

I own nothing, fair use, this won't do anything to stop the lawyers and SEGA is pretty chill about this kind of this thing anyway, why do I bother writing these, waste of TIME!

Also, since doesn't like youtube links for some reason, just use the portion of the URL that remains and put it into a standard youtube watch url thing. The music is necessary, it greatly increases the atmosphere of the fight scenes that will ensue.

Episode 2: Robotnik's First Triumph

Music: Sonic Adventure 2- Shut Up Faker!

watch?v=AxNvDlffEiE

Viridian Vile Varmint

Sonic the Hedgehog

"Robotnik, you seriously think you can defeat the fastest thing alive?" Sonic tapped his foot in annoyance and incredulity, rolling his eyes. "I mean we've done this eleventybillion times already! Just give up!"  
Robotnik grimaced. This little rat was trying to make fun of him! But no more… NO MOOOOOORE!

"DIE!" Before Sonic could react, Robotnik had rushed up to him and landed a Shoryuken directly into his jaw. Sonic went flying and lost all 999 of his rings, but unfortunately for Robotnik, 587 of them landed right on top of Sonic, and he got them back. He stood up, rubbing his jaw.  
"Heh, not bad, Eggman!" Sonic grinned. "Maybe you'll actually be a challenge for once!"  
"MY NAME IS DOCTOR IVO ROBOTNIK, AND YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS SUCH!" Robot fired a lightning bolt at Sonic with his raygun, but he dodged expretly. Robotnik kept firing, but Sonic was far too quick.

"Hey, Ro-BUTT-nik! Been puttin on the pounds, haven't ya?" Sonic launched himself toward a tree, and vaulted off it, aiming directly for Robotnik. "I think its time for ya to go on a diet!"

Sonic tried to face-kick Robotnik, but Robotnik was too quick! He turned around and blocked Sonic's foot expertly, holding it back with relative ease before throwing him off into a nearby rock face.

"HAH! I've been going on the ULTIMATE POWER training regimen, thank you very much!" Robotnik ran towards Sonic, his fist aimed towards Sonic's puny head, but Sonic recovered his wits and dodged at the last second. Robotnik was moving with such force that his hand got stuck in the wall!

He turned around, and he saw Sonic spinning directly toward him! "All your strength is no match for my Sonic Speed!" Robotnik was trapped!

Thinking quickly, he aimed his raygun at Sonic, set it, and fired! At the momentum Sonic was going at, there was no way for him to dodge, and he took the hit at full force, having all his rings knocked out. He managed to get some, but all the others disappeared, and he only had 234 rings left now!

"Oh, all out of your precious bling, hedgehog?" Robotnik had freed his hand from the rubble, and advanced toward Sonic, grinning evilly. "Don't worry- when I attain ULTIMATE POWER, I'll make you gather so many rings, you can build my statue when you die!"

Sonic struggled to his feet, clearly a bit battered. "Gotta admit, Egghead, you've stepped up your game!" He dashed off into the distance, in a flash! "Let's see if you can keep up with this!"

Robotnik looked around quickly. Sonic was nowhere to be seen, but he could hear him just fine. He aimed towards the source of the noise, and fired wantonly. He couldn't hit anything, but he could see footprints appearing in response. That was what he needed!

The footprints suddenly started moving towards Robotnik at a rapid rate, but he lifted his gun and fired at them, causing Sonic to trip and stumble, his rings flying everywhere! He started trying to gather them frantically!

"NOT THIS TIME, HEDGEHOG!" Robotnik pressed a button on his glove, and all the rings started flying towards him! He cackled maniacally as the rings were absorbed into him, rendering them useless for the blue hedgehog!  
"What are you doing, Egghead?!" Sonic ran around frantically, but as soon as he got close to a ring, it went flying away toward Eggman instead! A mixture of confusion and anger was written across his face.

"It's my MAGNET GLOVE!" Robotnik laughed heartily. "ALL OF YOUR RINGS BELONG TO ME!" The last ring bouncing around was absorbed into Robotnik's flab, and Sonic now had no rings at all!

"Oh, no! I've got to be careful!" Sonic looked around, but there were no rings nearby either! He was ringless, and without his rings he wouldn't last long!  
Robotnik launched himself towards Sonic with a flying kick, but Sonic dodged! Robotnik, not to be deterred, fired his raygun at the cliffside repeatedly, and the recoil pushed him back in the right direction!

Sonic ran frantically from the fat scientist chasing him, but the force Robotnik had generated was propelling him forward faster than Sonic could run in his weakened state! Sonic turned around, started spindashing, and launched himself at Robotnik at full speed!

Robotnik fired his gun at Sonic in midair, disrupting his spin dash, but not his momentum. He kept tumbling forward, now completely defenseless!  
"I'VE GOT YOU NOW!" Robotnik landed a perfectly timed haymaker directly to Sonic's jaw, sending him flying away into a dust cloud! After it cleared, Sonic was laying on the ground in a heap, completely KOed.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Robotnik did a cheesy victory dance while generic rave music played. "I BEAT THE HEDGEHOG! I BEAT THE HEDGEHOG! NOW NO ONE CAN STOP ME FROM BECOMING THE UNDISPUTED MASTER OF MOBIUS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

What will happen to Sonic now?  
Who will Robotnik's next opponent be?

Will Coconuts ever get a decent insurance plan?  
Find out on the next exciting episode of ROBOTNIK'S GRAND DOMINATION, "Robotnik Opens a Teleporter Network!"


	3. Ep3: Robotnik Opens a Teleporter Network

I own nothing, fair use, blah blah blah, Capcom employees, if you have time to read this, you have time to go on a message board for five minutes and listen to your fans about opinions and shit. I don't know. I've already run out of jokes for these and its only the third chapter, i mean EPISODE.

Also, Sonic's not coming back. Ever. He's boring and unimportant. Yeah.

Episode 3: Robotnik Opens A Teleporter Network

Listening Music: Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog- Robotnik's Theme

watch?v=aO_z2nO3ByM

"COCONUTS!"

Coconuts turned around slowly, mentally preparing for the task of having to deal with his overbearing boss. This was quite a common occurrence.

"Yes, Your Maliciousness?" Robots don't normally have facial expressions, but Coconuts had an expression of exasperation on his face just for this moment.

"WHERE EXACTLY IS DREAM LAND?!"

Coconuts was dumbfounded. He had never ventured outside Robotnik's lab, for he was not equipped with combat functions because of that one time with the exploding bananas. That was not a good day.

"THE SCOUTER SAYS MY NEXT POTENTIAL OPPONENT IS THERE, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS!"

"Well, Dream Land isn't on any of our maps, and our maps don't go outside Robotropolis, so-  
"WHAT?! WHOSE STUUUPID IDEEEA WAS THIS?! OF ALL THE THINGS THAT COULD GO WRONG-"

"It was your idea, Your Jackassness." In Coconuts' many years as Robotnik's flunky, he had gotten used to Robotnik forgetting every other thing he did. Including getting dressed. It had been hard to erase that from his mainframe.

"HOOOOW DARE YOU INSINUATE THAT I, THE GRRRREAT DOCTOR IVO RRRROBOTNIK, WOULD BE RRRESPONSIBLE FOR SUCH AN IGNORANT-"

"You have a call from: Doctor Albert Wily!"

Music: Kevin Macleod- Evil Plan

watch?v=tz9zeKucLjo

The large television in the center of the room lit up, showing Dr. Wily's grinning mug on it.  
"Hello, Ivo! I heard you beat that meddlesome blue pest of yours!"

"INDEED!" Robotnik pumped his fist. "I AM AT LAST RID OF THAT MEDDLESOME SCUM!"

"Glad to hear it! What's your plan now? You've got the whole world ready for the taking!"

"I'M ON A MISSION TO BEAT UP THE MOST POWERFUL OPPONENTS IN THE WORLD SO I CAN GAIN GLOBAL POWER!"

"Well, that's quite an undertaking! ...you're sure Sonic's absolutely out of commission so that he can't steal it away in the nick of time, right?" Wily laughed heartily.

"OH, YES! I HAVE HIM LOCKED AWAY IN MY HYPER-PRISON CELL! HE'LL NEVER GET OUT IN A MILLION YEARS!"

Dr. Wily yawned. "You still owe me one billion rings from the last time you said that, you know. The interest rates are astronomical here, you know."

"ENOUGH BLATHERING ABOUT PAST BETS UNPAID! I NEED THE COORDINATES FOR A PLACE CALLED DREAM LAND!" Robotnik looked at the scouter, and it showed a blue penguin-looking thing in the panel. "I HAVE TO GO DISPATCH THIS THING CALLED 'KING DEDEDE!"

Wily raised an eyebrow incredulously. "Really? Dream Land? I've been there. I conquered it once, but it was so boring that I gave it back."  
Robotnik put on an expression that said "I don't believe you in the slightest", only with not as many words. "Didn't your fortress get eaten by some pink thing-"  
"We. Do. Not. Talk. About. That." Wily looked extremely pissed off despite his calm tone, and Robotnik decided it was a good idea not to press the issue. Soon enough, some numbers came up on the screen.

"All right, Ivo, here are the coordinates for Dream Land. If you're looking for Dedede, he's probably in his giant castle. Can't miss it. He's probably compensating for something, now that I think about it."  
"HAHAHAHA! HE WILL COWER BEFORE THE SIZE AND GIRTH OF MY MIGHTY PINGAS AND-"  
"Your Dickishness, the teleporter's ready." Coconuts was standing near the terminal, his finger on the button.

"YAAAHHOOOOO! I'M OFF TO OBTAIN ULTIMATE POOOOWWWAAAA-" Coconuts hit the button, sending Robotnik to Dream Land and cutting him off. The room was silent for a few minutes before Wily spoke up.

"...so, does Ivo always brag about his-"

Coconuts rolled his eyes. "All the time."

Will Robotnik take down King Dedede?

Will Wily ever take a direct role in the plot of this story?

Will Robotnik ever whip out his PINGAS and beat people over the head with it?

Find out on the next exciting episode of Robotnik's Grand Domination, "Robotnik Discovers His Cuteness Allergy!"


	4. Ep4: Robotnik Discovers His Moe Allergy!

I own nothing, fair use, blah-diddly-blah. HAL, please don't add me to your hitlist. If you have one.

Also, as always, enter the watch url into youtube to add accompanying listening music. It really makes the fight scenes much more fun to read. Dramatic reading people, if you ever see fit to grace my work, please use the music I've so generously provided.

Episode 4: Robotnik Discovers his Cuteness Allergy

Listening Music: Kirby Nightmare in Dream Land: Forest Theme

watch?v=QepcxOOH1-E

It was a normal day in Cappy Town, until a massive amount of flashy effects and a large explosion came from the town square, which did not do a very good job of improving the mood.

"CITIZENS OF DREAM LAND! BOW BEFORE YOUR NEW BENEVOLENT OVERLORD!"

Robotnik's voice boomed throughout the village as he stepped out of the smoke and bowed surprising gracefully for someone of his girth.

Nobody reacted, because they were far too busy picking their jaws up off the floor.

"I NEED TO KNOW WHERE I CAN FIND KING DEDEDE!"

Everyone meekly pointed towards the rather large castle on the hill in the distance, still not saying a word.

"THANK YOU, GOOD CITIZENS!" Before he could continue, however, he was smacked in the back of the head by an apple.

"WHO DARES-"

Before he could finish, another apple hit him, this time in the temple.

"HOW DARE ANYONE OF YOU NINCOMPOOPS HIT THE GREAT RRRROBOTNIK WITH APPLES-"

Robotnik was interrupted by a rather large and oversized apple tree falling on top of him, hitting him directly in the head. No, not the head you're thinking of, get your mind out of the gutter you sicko.

Robotnik pushed the tree off his bulk with relative ease, and looked toward where it had fallen from. There was a little girl with a sketchpad and pencil standing on top of a house, giggling at Robotnik's predicament.  
"YOU! DID YOU DO THIS TO THE GRRRRRREAT RRRROOOBBOTNIK?!"

The little girl nodded, and continued giggling. Robotnik turned the exact complexion of a beet, and steam came out of his ears. He was pissed, and the Cappies backed away in fear, as they should. Robotnik is not a simple ineffectual villain anymore, oh no!

"I ORDER YOU TO COME DOWN AND BOW BEFORE YOUR NEW-"  
The little girl yawned, and started drawing something. Robotnik rushed towards her, but a bolt of lightning shot out of her notepad and zapped him directly in the chest!

Robotnik struggled to his feet, and stared down the laughing child in front of him.  
"IT'S ON, YOU LITTLE BRAT!"

Artistic Assailant

Adeleine

Listening Music: Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards: Boss Theme

watch?v=nUiPALbCsKg

Robotnik lunged for Adeleine, but she drew several swords on her notepad, which quickly flew out straight at him! He dodged them deftly, one of them grazing his mustache by a hair. (GET IT?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

Adeleine wasted no time before quickly sketching out a missile, which launched itself at him! He dodged one way, but it followed him wherever he went!  
Thinking quickly, Robotnik jumped towards the missile, grabbed it, and with a tremendous burst of strength, turned it around, changing its target to Adeleine! But she was not to be outdone, for she conjured a shield to stop the projectile in its tracks!  
"WHAT? IS THERE ANY LIMIT TO WHAT YOU CAN CREATE?!" Robotnik inquired.  
Adeleine simply laughed and began drawing again. Robotnik fired his raygun at her, but she had finished drawing a large tree root, which ripped a house off its foundation and tossed it Robotnik!  
Robotnik leaped to the side to dodge one house, then blasted another one to smitheroonies with his raygun. Another one was on a collision course, but he jumped onto it, propelling himself toward Adeleine in the process! Yet another house was heading for him, but he smashed it with a flying kick!  
"FOOL! YOU DARE FIGHT AGAINST THE GREAT ROBOTNIK?!" Robotnik took aim with his raygun and fired a massive blast at Adeleine, but she was too quick! She drew a pair of wings for herself, which grafted to her back and launched her up into the sky!  
From there, she created a large meteor, which quickly was gaining on Robotnik! He stood his ground, and punched it with incredible toughness, sending it back the way it had come!  
Unfortunately for Robotnik, Adeleine had already drawn a massive sword, which she had used to slice the meteor clean in two! She giggled at Robotnik's failure from her place in the sky, and Robotnik fumed angrily.

"CREATIVITY MEANS NOTHING IN THE FACE OF SHEER FORCE, GIRL!"

Robotnik activated his magnet glove and turned it to the maximum intensity, causing all the appliances and metal objects in Cappy Town to come flying towards him! At the last second, he turned it off, causing the onslaught of metalware to continue careening towards Adeleine!

A look of terror crossed the girl's face, but it was quickly replaced by a grimace of determination as she frantically drew a storm cloud! The furious gusts of wind that were caused successfully stopped most of the objects, but a large frying pan was still able to get through and smack her directly in the forehead!  
"HOW DOES IT FEEL, HAVING HEAVY OBJECTS THROWN AT YOUR HEEEEAAAD?!"

Robotnik gloated while pointing ferociously at her.

Adeleine was off balance for a moment, but quickly regained her composure and drew a large object that looked like a satellite, which quickly began charging up and fired an enormous beam at Robotnik!  
Robotnik whipped out his raygun, and, setting it to the highest intensity, returned fire! The two beams cancelled each other out for the most part, but Robotnik's was winning, pushing Adeleine's beam back to its source!

Both opponents had grimaces of resolve on their faces, but Adeleine was losing!  
Adeleine's satellite couldn't take the massiveness of Robotnik's beam anymore, and it blew up, creating a large explosion! Robotnik saw his chance, and jumped towards the girl, fist forward!

Adeleine, visibly tired, managed to conjure two massive fists that she used to counter Robotnik's blows! They hung in the air, rapidly exchanging punches, only to be countered by the next one from their opponent! The speed of the punches increased to such a degree that the fists of the brawlers were starting to blur to the Cappies watching below, one greedily chowing down on a bowl of popcorn while wearing 3D glasses!

Adeleine was starting to wear down, and her blows slowed. Robotnik saw his chance, and kicked the girl directly in the stomach! Her fists and wings disappeared, and she was sent hurtling towards the nearest house, which exploded in a shower of rubble, dust, and cheap furniture!

Listening Music: Kirby's Return To Dream Land- Goal Game Theme

watch?v=rakbSzAo1EA

Robotnik landed on the ground expertly, and surveyed the rubble. Adeleine dug herself out of the pile of rubble, barely conscious, and fell to the ground. Robotnik approached her, raised his hand, and…

Held it out.

"SOMEONE AS POWERFUL AS YOU IS WORRRRTHY OF BEING ON ROBOTNIK'S WINNING TEAM!" Robotnik grinned from ear to ear.

Listening Music: Escargoon's Theme

watch?v=pEf-travTdk

"ESCARGOON!"

Escargoon stumbled into the King's throne room, tripping over a wrinkle in the carpet. "What is it, Your Majesty?"  
Dedede pointed at the monitor, which showed Robotnik heading towards his castle.

"Who's that chubbeh weirdo with the kooky mustash?"  
Escargoon frowned. "I-I don't know, Your Majesty. I've never seen them before-"  
"NEVER SEEN HIM?! Escargoon, it is your job as mah royal lackey-snail to know everything about everyone in that snotty little hamlet to ensure mah absolute rule!"

Escargoon rolled his eyes. "Maybe he snuck in because SOMEONE forgot to pay the guards for a month and they all left for greener pastures."  
Dedede frowned. "Oh. I forgots about that." He was quickly back to full-on screaming mode, however. "STILL! If you don't know, you gots to find out! Escargoon, follow that chubbeh weirdo and find out who he is!"

"But King, you just saw him demolish that entire town-"

"I DON'T CARE! YOU JUST DO THAT!" Escargoon sighed, and was just about to leave when Dedede piped up again. "Acturally, on second thought…"  
Escargoon's eyes brightened.

"I'll go with ya! Someone's gotta make sure ya don't go muckin it up!" Dedede grabbed Escargoon's arm and dragged him out the door, despite his protests.

"Well, at least I'll have a living shield in case we tick off that fat guy." Escargoon muttered.

Will Robotnik triumph over King Dedede?

Will Adeleine actually be a major character?

Will Dedede ever remember to pay his subordinates?

Find out on the next exciting episode of Robotnik's Grand Domination, "Robotnik makes an unplanned detour!"


	5. Ep5: Robotnik makes an Unplanned Detour

Fair use, blah blah, i own nothing, blah-diddly-doo, obligatory crap, blah blah blah.

Just so you people know, sometimes I may end up writing characters inaccurately due to not knowing much about them. If so, please tell me in the comments, I may or may not listen to you, depending on my mood and whether I'm feeling vindictive towards said character.

Also, if you all want to see a character appear in future arcs, please by all means let me know! I will not take every request, but maybe one of you will inspire me or something. I don't know.

Episode 5: Robotnik makes an Unplanned Detour!

Listening Music: Kirby's Return to Dream Land: Forest Area

watch?v=keAM-TXfvi4

"WHEN WILL WE GET TO DEDEDE'S CASTLE?!"

Robotnik tromped through the undergrowth in Whispy's Forest, Adeleine following closely behind him. The mud was so thick, it yanked off his boots a few times.

"AAAAAAAARGH!" Robotnik fumed, his face turning the exact complexion of a beet. In responses to this, Adeleine turned around and drew a magic carpet which floated above the mud. Robotnik got on, kicking the mud off his boots.

"THANK YOU, ADELEINE! REMIND ME TO BRING MY EGG POD NEXT TIME!"  
Robotnik and Adeleine floated towards Castle Dedede, Robotnik activating his Ultra-Mosquito-Killer field to protect them from the bugs.

Robotnik's Ultra-Mosquito-Killer is copyright Robotnik Enterprises LLC. Do not rip us off or we will throw a lawsuit at you so fast you'll be paying through the nose and every orifice of your body. We mean it. Seriously.

"Your Majesty, are you sure this is the right place?" Escargoon sighed and looked around on his binoculars, seeing no sign of the fat scientist. He fumed to himself.

"For sure, Escargoon! I'm sure as a pig on an all-you-can-eat buffet!" Dedede gobbled up a nearby chicken leg out of the glove compartment of his car, bone and all, and burped directly into Escargoon's face. He grimaced and covered his face.

"That sounds pretty sure." Escargoon glanced around, but there was nothing as far as the eye could see. Nothing but bugs and cute creatures all around.

"Your Majesty, he's not here-" Escargoon stopped mid-sentence.

"What? What is it! Spit it out, ya snail-brain!" Dedede crunched on a bag of pretzels.

"H-he's right up ahead, Your Majesty! And he's heading this way!"

"WHAT!" Dedede grabbed the binoculars, entangling Escargoon's neck in the strap in the process. He gazed through them, and it was indeed true. The fat man and his artistic cohort were heading directly toward them at a rapid pace!  
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Both Dedede and Escargoon ran for their car, and drove away as fast as they could, running over several Waddle Dees in the process.

(Don't worry about the Waddle Dees, they're squishy, things like this don't faze them)

"I DON'T WANT THE FAT MAN TO EAT MEEEEEE!" Escargoon wailed.

Robotnik and Adeleine, however, had no idea that the two were hiding out there, and their sudden flight took them completely by surprise.

"WHO ARE THOSE TWO IIIDIOTSS?" Robotnik yelled, before it clicked in his head. The scouter's portrait matched that of the fat blue penguin that was running away from him!  
ERGO, IT WAS KING DEDEDE!

"THAT IS OUR TARRRRGET! AAAAAAFFFTERRR THEEEEEEEEM!" Robotnik pointed forcefully at the retreating vehicle, and Adeleine steered the carpet towards them.

Listening Music: Kirby Super Star: Hilltop Chase

watch?v=Opp9sns9z9Y

"YOUR MAJESTY, THEY'RE CATCHING UP TO US!" Escargoon clung desperately to the steering wheel as he drove wildly around the trees.

"SAY WHUT! HOW IS THAT GUY CATCHING UP TO OUR BIG SPEEDY?!" Dedede yelled in response.

(Big Speedy is the name of the car. Please do not misinterpret, we already have one walking genitalia reference in this fanfic already)

They drove wildly, but to no avail, for the carpet the fat man and Adeleine were riding on was much faster, and quickly gained on them!

"DEDEDE! I'M HERE TO DEFEAT YOU, AND CLAIM YOURRRR CRRRROWN FOR MY OOOOOOUUUWWWN!" yelled Robotnik! His mustache shined magnificently in the wind.

Adeleine applauded.

"Time to break out the heavy artillery! Your Majesty, you drive!" Dedede didn't argue, and Escargoon moved to the back of the car.

Listening Music: Kirby: Canvas Curse: Truck Chase

watch?v=eU6x6kLBzco

"Take this, you overgrown fat man!" Escargoon tossed out a large barrel towards Robotnik, but Robotnik quickly blasted it to pieces with his raygun! Escargoon tossed out several more objects, but none of them managed to connect!  
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SUCH PITIFUL OBJECTS CANNOT OBSTRUCT THE GRRRRREAT RRRRRROBOTNIK!" Robotnik laughed heartily.

"Oh, really, now!" Escargoon pressed a large button on the back seat of the truck, and a large cannon emerged.  
Robotnik's jaw dropped for a moment, but he quickly regained his composure.

Ultra Strong Energy Weapon

WAVE MOTION CANNON

"BRING IT ON!" Robotnik yelled.

Escargoon grinned, and started pressing buttons. A barrage of energy balls were shot out of the mouth of the cannon, but Adeleine quickly swerved to dodge them all!

Robotnik tried firing at the cannon, but a large force field activated, nullifying the blast!

"Ha ha ha! Your puny little ray gun won't work on this baby, chubby!" The cannon started charging up, visibly glowing as it did so! "Now, out of my WAY!"

Adeleine quickly dodged before the cannon fired a massively huge beam of energy! When the dust cleared, a large swath of the forest was completely gone, leaving only a charred husk of ground in its place!

"SUCH A POWERFUL WEAPON!" Robotnik observed!

Escargoon laughed, then pressed another button! A massive volley of energy balls was fired at the duo!  
Adeleine swerved and dived, but couldn't keep it up much longer! Robotnik blasted the balls of energy, causing them to dissipate, but more kept coming!  
"Give it up, chubby! There's only room for one fat, morally questionable ruler, and that's King Dedede!" The cannon fired a large ball of energy, and it hurtled towards Robotnik!  
Thinking quickly, Robotnik activated his magnet glove, wound up, and punched the ball! It froze in its tracks, but Robotnik was struggling to keep it away!

With a loud yell, he forced the ball of energy back in the opposite direction, back at the Wave Motion Cannon!  
Escargoon smirked, and fired another energy ball, cancelling out the first one! He kept blasting more and more, and Robotnik was having trouble keeping up!

"WE CAN'T KEEP THIS UP! WE'RE OUTCLASSED IN MATTERS OF ENERGY WEAPONS!"

Robotnik announced, a solitary drop of sweat rolling down his face.

Adeleine, thinking quickly, pulled out her sketchpad and drew a large iron ball, which quickly appeared above Robotnik! Robotnik, understanding the message, reared back, caught the iron ball, and heaved it at the Wave Motion Cannon!

"EEEK!" Escargoon fired frantically at the incoming projectile, but all the shots had no effect on its trajectory, or its mass!  
The iron ball slammed into the cannon at a tremendous velocity, immediately totaling it!  
"No, no, no, NOOO!" Escargoon slammed on the buttons, but after a brief cough of smoke from the busted weapon, it slumped over, rendered utterly useless!  
"THIS ISN'T THE END OF THIS, CHUBBY!" Escargoon ranted as Dedede revved the car, speeding it off into the distance, Robotnik and Adeleine following closely behind.

Will Robotnik catch up to King Dedede and his wily snail associate, Escargoon?

Will Escargoon ever actually fight physically?

Will Dedede ever do anything meaningful and not just laze around eating chicken legs?

Find out on the next exciting episode of "Robotnik's Grand Domination", "Robotnik Storms Mount Dedede!"


	6. Ep6: Robotnik Storms Mt Dedede!

FAIR USE, I OWN NOTHING, BLAH BLAH BLAAAAAAAAAH.

Also, to be clear, this fanfic is divided into 'arcs', basically like the sagas of Dragon Ball, except not as long.

Episode 4 was the beginning of the Dedede Arc.

Also, suggestions for characters to appear are appreciated! I can't use them all, but I'd appreciate the feedback!

Episode 6: Robotnik Storms Mount Dedede

Robotnik stood before the gates of Castle Dedede, surveying what he had to deal with.  
The castle was large and imposing, with two large windows resembling eyes placed at the main keep's front. Large cannons adorned all the walls, aimed in all directions.

"WELL THEN!" Robotnik cracked his knuckles. "ADELEINE, YOU HAVE QUITE THE BONE TO PICK WITH KING DEDEDE, DO YOU NOT?" Adeleine nodded slowly.

"THEN, LET'S GET RRRRRRREADY TO RRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUMMMMBBLLLLEEE!"

Robotnik kicked open the door, splintering it into tiny tiny splinters. He looked around, but there was no one in sight…

Except for a lone Waddle Dee, carrying a spear, and wearing a blue bandanna.

He stared at Robotnik, with an angry expression on his face, readying his spear.

Robotnik was silent for a few moments before bursting into complete hysterics.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! LOOK AT THIS PUNY WORM, THINKING HE CAN OVERPOWER THE GREAT ROBOTNIK! AAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHA!"

Adeleine, however, wasn't laughing.  
She had seen this Waddle Dee before.

"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, HUG ME TO DEATH? HAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
Robotnik continued laughing without a care as to the adversary which stood before him.

The Waddle Dee whirled around and pointed his spear skyward, and the ground began to rumble!

Robotnik stopped laughing abruptly, and looked around.

OUT OF NOWHERE A CRAPTON OF WADDLE DEES BURST INTO THE ROOM AND DOGPILED ROBOTNIK AND ADELEINE!

Every time they tried to break free, another squishy round creature latched on to their limbs, weighing them down! Robotnik couldn't reach the trigger on his raygun, and Adeleine could barely move!  
Robotnik seethed with rage! How could such cute, stupid things get the better of him! THIS WOULD NOT STAND!

Bandanna Dee surveyed the massive pulsating mound of Waddle Dees on top of Robotnik and Adeleine, and nodded silently. His work done, he turned around to leave-

Only to be greeted by the yelling of a very angry scientist.

Robotnik forced himself out of the pile of Waddle Dees, throwing them every which way. Smoke was coming out his ears, and he was panting like a raging bull!

"YOOOOOUUUUUU!" Robotnik proclaimed his anger forcefully towards Bandanna Dee. "HOOOOOWWWW DAARRRREEE YOOOUUUU HUMMIIIILLLLIIIAAAATTTE THE GRRRRRREAT RRERRRRRROBOTNIK IN SUCH A MANNNNERRRRR?!"

Adeleine burst out of the pile alongside Robotnik, having drawn two katanas on her notepad, and now whirling them expertly.

"YOOUUU WILLL PAAAAAAY FORRRR YOUUURUR INNSSOLLLEENCE!" Robotnik charged at the Bandanna Dee, while Adeleine dashed towards the legion of cute fluffy menaces!  
Bandanna Dee was poised and ready.

Listening Music: Kirby Triple Deluxe: Revenge of the Enemy

watch?v=BdMKdXmBxDo

The Cutest Little Warrior

Bandanna Dee

Bandanna Dee glared at Robotnik, and quickly prepared for the assault with his spear.  
Robotnik fired repeatedly, but Bandanna jumped and dodged, vaulting off the walls and ceilings at LUDICROUS SPEED!

"WHY! WON'T! YOU! SLOW! DOOOOOWWWNNN!" Robotnik raged as his shots kept missing. He charged forward, trying to land a punch, but Bandanna blocked it with his spear, and took Robotnik's momentary loss of balance to begin a furious onslaught of spear stabs and slashes.

Robotnik blocked and dodged them, but the strikes got closer and closer every time!  
He ducked narrowly under the weapon, the sharp tip whistling past his neck!  
Robotnik grabbed the spear, and tried to wrench it out of Bandanna's hands, but he refused to let go! As they fought, Adeleine was having an adversary of her own!

Waddle Dees charged at her from all sides, with no gaps anywhere in their ranks!

Adeleine quickly slashed her way through with her katanas, but they just got right back up from any blow they sustained without a scratch!

She discarded them and drew a jetpack, rocketing out of their reach!

...or so she thought!

The Waddle Dees began stacking on top of each other to get to Adeleine! She grinned as she saw a golden opportunity!  
As the stacks of Dees reached the ceiling, she quickly flew downwards and bashed the ones on the bottom of the stacks, causing them all to tumble down in a heap, dazing them!

Robotnik lost his grip on the spear, and Bandanna quickly jabbed towards him, but Robotnik had anticipated this! He activated his Magnet Glove, attracting the head of the spear towards him!  
He grabbed it and snapped it in half, crumpling the spearhead into a shapeless hunk of metal!

Bandanna looked surprised for a minute, but quickly glared at Robotnik.

"WHERE'S YOUR WEAPON NOW?!" Robotnik gloated. "NOW YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING AGAINST-" Bandanna cut him off by kicking him in the face repeatedly!

Robotnik was slammed against a wall, dazed momentarily, before getting up and coming after Bandanna! They got into a massive amount of fisticuffs, no one letting up, every single attack being blocked!  
"ADELEINE! I NEED SOME ASSISTANCE!" Robotnik yelled.

Adeleine, hearing his cry, leaped over and drew a large snowflake! A ferocious cold wind blew through the room, quickly encasing the legion of Waddle Dees in massive ice blocks!

She glared at Bandanna, drawing a large hammer, which she swung around with a flourish, then swung towards Bandanna, standing there unflinching!

Bandanna leaped up, and grabbed the hammer's head, stopping it directly in its tracks! Adeleine looked shocked, and struggled to free it, but he held on tightly!

"HANDS OFF MY ASSOCIATE, YOU DEMONICALLY CUTE MONSTRRRRROSITY!"

Robotnik charged up his raygun and fired a large energy ball!

Bandanna wrenched the hammer out of Adeleine's grasp, and smacked it back towards Robotnik! Before it could hit him, Adeleine jumped in front of him and conjured a large shield, countering the blast immediately!

"MY DEEPEST THANKS! I MAY HAVE TO GIVE YOU A PRRRROMOTION-"

Listening Music: Kirby's Return To Dream Land: Landia Battle

watch?v=_3ZHgU86eNw&feature=related

Robotnik was interrupted by Bandanna grabbing the shield, and tossing it, and Adeleine, through the wall and into the next room! She was dazed, and could barely move!

Bandanna glared menacingly as he tore a pillar out from the wall, wielding it effortlessly!

Robotnik tried to rush to her rescue, but before he could, Bandanna reared back and smacked Adeleine through the window with the pillar so fast she disappeared into the distance with a twinkle in the sky!

Robotnik could not believe what he just saw, and stood there in awe for a few minutes before an mask of rage spread across his face!

"I MAY BE A DICTATOR, BUT I'M A BENEVOLENT DICTATOR!" Robotnik growled. "I HAVE STANDARDS!"

Bandanna hefted the pillar, and beckoned Robotnik closer!

Listening Music: Kirby's Return to Dream Land: Boss Battle

watch?v=NZWrD-IHO6Y

"AND CONTINUING TO BEAT UP SOMEONE WHO CANNOT FIGHT IS ONE OF THEEEEEEEEEMMMMMM!"

Robotnik, with his new burst of strength, tore another pillar out of the wall, and swung it at Bandanna!  
Not to be deterred, Bandanna blocked, then countered, but Robotnik was too strong, and threw him off!

Bandanna jumped up in the air, and spun the pillar around at such a fantastic speed that he was able to float in the air, then flew out through the hole in the window!

"GET BACK HERE, COWARD!" Robotnik yelled as he jumped out, and leaped onto the parapet of the castle! Bandanna quickly lunged, trying to crush Robotnik with his pillar, but he dodged expertly!  
Robotnik tossed his pillar directly at Bandanna, who quickly slammed his into it, smashing it in two! Robotnik dodged, and landed directly behind Bandanna, rushing toward him while screaming at the top of his lungs!

Bandanna whirled around, tossing his pillar at Robotnik, but he jumped onto it, vaulting off of it towards Bandanna!

Bandanna tried to move out of the way, but Robotnik had too much momentum, and he slammed his fist directly into Bandanna Dee's face!

Bandanna Dee was launched directly into the castle wall, making a terrific crashing noise! He tried to get up, but wobbled and quickly fell over.

Before Robotnik could come over to see if he was really down by poking him, the wall that Bandanna had been thrown into crumbled and collapsed, covering Bandanna in a pile of rock.

Robotnik waited a few moments to make sure he wouldn't push his stubby little arm out of the wreckage, then nodded and charged towards the main keep!

Listening Music: Kirby Triple Deluxe: Taranza, Master of Puppetry

watch?v=Uyw295-z07Q

"Your Majesty, the fat man's defeated Bandanna Dee!" Escargoon was gazing at the television, sweating and wringing his hands nervously.

"SAY WHUT!" Dedede slammed his hand against the arm of his throne, and turned red with anger. "HE WAS MAH BEST SOLDIAH!"

"Yes, I know, King. Now I suggest we flee before- ACK!" Escargoon was stopped from leaving by Dedede grabbing him.  
"LISTEN HEAH, ESCARGOON! I NEVER FLEE FROM A BATTLE, AND I EXPECT THE SAME FROM YOU!"

"But, Your Highness, I can't fight, I'm weak-"  
Dedede pulled out a suspicious-looking bottle with the greek letter Sigma on it, not that King Dedede would recognize that, not just because Dream Land doesn't have an alphabet, but because King Dedede's a complete and utter buffoon.

"Well then drink this!" He thrust the bottle into Escargoon's hands.

"Dedede, what is this?" Escargoon asked nervously.  
"I bought it from some weirdo salesman on the Internet, said it makes ya super strong! I was goin' to guzzle it mahself, but you clearly need it more than I do!" Dedede clapped Escargoon on the back, then bolted out of the room!

Escargoon stared at the odd liquid inside the bottle. It was a deep purple, and it bubbled and fizzed! He stared at it, wondering if he should drink it.

Has Doctor Robotnik actually learned how to care about the value of human life?

Will Escargoon drink the bizarre evil fizzy drink of questionable origin?

Most importantly, IS THAT GRAPE SODA IN THAT BOTTLE?

Find out next time on the next exciting episode of 'Robotnik's Grand Domination', "Robotnik Learns the Dangers of Buying Questionable Products off the Internet!"


	7. Ep7: Robotnik Learns the Dangers of Buyi

I own nothing, fair use, nobody sue me please. SEGA, if you actually read this, then stop shoving stupid gimmicks into every damn Sonic game. It isn't working.

Remember to enter the music links I've provided into youtube because this stupid website doesn't let you post URLs apparently.

Can't really think of anything else to say, so enjoy the insanity!

Episode 7: Robotnik Learns the Dangers of Buying Questionable Products off the Internet!

Robotnik busted down the door with Dedede's oddly-shaped sigil on it, only to see him absent.

The only thing in the room was his empty throne, and Escargoon, standing there quaking in his shell.

"WHERE IS KING DEDEDE?!" Robotnik boomed.

Escargoon straightened up, and glared at Robotnik angrily. "Somewhere."

Robotnik got really angry. "WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU DEFY ME, YOU MERE BLOB OF A LIFE FORM?!"

Escargoon smirked. "You have no idea what you're doing, do you? All this senseless beating… have you ever considered the effect you're having?" Robotnik raised his eyebrow.  
"What are you trying to do? Make the world a better place? There are better ways to do it than beating down every rival power-"  
"OH, STOP IT WITH YOUR PHILOSOPHICAL BANTER!" Robotnik cut Escargoon off, leaving him speechless for a few moments. "IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FIGHT ME, GET OUT OF MY WAY SO I CAN DESTROY KING DEDEDE!"

Escargoon nodded. "Fine. I'll destroy you, and protect His Majesty!" He quickly pulled out the bottle of odd liquid, and drank it in one gulp.

Within a minute, he was pulsing and growing in size at a magnificent speed!  
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF MOBIUS IS THAT?!" Robotnik yelled.  
"HAHAHA!" The voice coming out of the thing that was formerly Escargoon boomed throughout the room. It looked like a massive snail creature with several tentacles on its head, and six different tendrily arms. Large beady white eyes glared down at Robotnik menacingly. "DEATH TO THOSE WHO OPPOSE THE REGIME OF KING DEDEDEEEEEE!"

Listening Music: Kirby's Return To Dream Land: Boss Battle

watch?v=NZWrD-IHO6Y

Superpowered Snail Sentry

Escarzilla

"YOW!" Robotnik leaped to the side to dodge Escarzilla's opening punch, which cracked the floor from the sheer force! He frantically leaped around to dodge the creature's assault, but it was amazingly quick for its size, and Robotnik only dodged the attacks by a few inches!

"WHO'S THE WORM NOW, FAT MAN?!" Escarzilla roared. He reared back before spitting a large slimy glob at Robotnik! It landed on him completely, trapping him in place!  
"WHAT IS THIS?!" Robotnik struggled against the sticky substance that had imprisoned him, but could not move! Escarzilla lifted up a large rock, and tossed it towards Robotnik!  
Thinking quickly, Robotnik fired his raygun, exploding the slimy blob from the inside! He rolled out of the way just before the massive rock impacted with the spot where he used to be!

"HMMM… SNAILS ARE NEVER VERY FAST, SO… EUREKA!" Robotnik ran away from Escarzilla, then turned around once he was at a safe distance, then took aim.

Unfortunately for him, Escarzilla was rocketing towards him at a tremendous speed, growling gutturally!  
"WHAT?! HOW CAN YOU BE THAT FAST?!" Robotnik whined. "IT GOES AGAINST SCIENCE!" Escarzilla scoffed condescendingly.

"STUPID FAT MAN!" Escarzilla punched Robotnik square in the chest, slamming him into a wall, cracking it. "SCIENCE IS FOR LOSERS!"

Robotnik staggered to his feet. He wouldn't last long against this monstrosity in a straight fight, he was far too powerful. What could he do…

Robotnik grinned evilly. He had an idea.

Escarzilla tried to punch him again, but he dodged, but instead of running away, he ran up the monstrosity's arm, towards his head!  
Escarzilla threw his arm back to shake Robotnik off, but Robotnik quickly jumped for Escargoon's head and grabbed onto his eyestalks!

"GET OFF!" Escarzilla writhed around, but Robotnik held on tight! He aimed his raygun directly towards Escargoon's eye, and fired!  
A loud, guttural screech came from the monster, and before Robotnik could get away, Escarzilla had grabbed him and was moving him towards his mouth!

Robotnik tried to fire his raygun into Escarzilla's mouth, but he smacked the gun out of Robotnik's hand, sending it flying down the stone corridor, with a soft cracking of glass being heard!  
"HAHAHAHA! WITHOUT YOUR LITTLE TOY GUN, YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE AGAINST ME!" Escargoon opened his mouth wide, his stanky breath causing Robotnik's mustache to wilt momentarily! Robotnik did not look scared, however.

If anything, he looked very pleased with himself!  
"OH REALLY, NOW?" Robotnik activated his magnet glove, and he could hear a loud crash from the throne room! Escarzilla looked over…

And screamed in surprise and pain as King Dedede's shiny metal throne lodged itself directly in his throat!  
Escarzilla dropped Robotnik in surprise, and tried to pull the offending object out of his esophagus, to no avail!

Robotnik frantically scanned the walls for anything he could use against Escarzilla, and saw a statue of Dedede with a large stone hammer!  
"THIS WILL DO NICELY!" Robotnik pried the hammer out of the statue's grip, and rushed back toward Escarzilla, now properly armed!

Escarzilla had finally gotten the giant throne out of his throat, and looked around angrily for his adversary!

"COME ON OUT, FAT MAN!" Escarzilla roared in rage. Before he could turn around, Robotnik had slammed his giant stone hammer into Escarzilla's skull!

Robotnik flipped back in front of Escarzilla, hefting his hammer, grinning smugly.

"NOT SO WEAK, AM I?" Robotnik gloated. Escarzilla growled.

"WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT!" Escarzilla slammed his many arms into the ground, trying to get at Robotnik, but he dodged them expertly! One of Escarzilla's arms got stuck in the ground, and Robotnik took the opportunity to give it a good whack with the stone hammer!

"OOUUUUGGGGHGHHH!" Escarzilla screeched loudly before going back on the offensive, trying to crush him, but Robotnik repeated his strategy, and before long all of Escarzilla's arms were out of commission!  
Escarzilla spat a massive slime blob at Robotnik, but he smacked it out of the way with his big stone hammer! This continued for a little bit, until the walls were covered with Escarzilla's snail slime!  
"ENOUGH! I'M FINISHING THIS, NOW!" Escarzilla began gathering a massive slime blob in front of his face, growing larger by the second! Robotnik readied himself for a massive attack, poised, hammer at the ready!

Escarzilla spat the huge blob at Robotnik, but instead of running away, Robotnik smacked it right back at him with his massive hammer, and it landed directly onto Escarzilla's face, blinding him!  
"WHAT IS THIS?!" The creature writhed around, trying to get the sticky substance off its face, but to no avail at all.

"YOOHOO!" Robotnik had fled to the other end of the hall, and was waving Escarzilla over! "COME AND GET ME, YOU OVERGROWN SLIMEBALL!"

Escarzilla roared, and rushed towards Robotnik blindly, not having any idea where he was going! He quickly rammed into a nearby wall with the force of a runaway train, causing it to crack and crumble on him!

"AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHGHHHHH!" Escarzilla groaned in pain as the falling stone chunks pummeled him over and over again, each bigger than the last!  
"NOW!" Robotnik leapt toward Escarzilla, holding the massive stone hammer in his hand!  
He spun in midair and slammed it into Escarzilla's noggin so hard it crumbled to dust in an instant!

Escarzilla crumpled to the floor in a heap, defeated.

"THE BIGGER THEY ARE, THE HARDER THEY FALL, AHAHAHAHAHA!"

Robotnik dashed back towards the throne room, ready for the confrontation with Dedede!

Listening Music: Kirby Triple Deluxe: Taranza, Master of Puppetry

watch?v=Uyw295-z07Q

Escargoon woke up, rubbing his head, with no memory of what he had just turned into, or what had taken place.  
"Ooooh, my head!" He winced as he rubbed it. "That's gonna smart later-"  
"DEDEDE!" He jolted upright as he remembered what he had been doing, and bolted towards Dedede's Throne room!  
"YOUR MAJESTY, WAIT FOR MEEEEEE!"

Listening Music: Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog- Robotnik's Theme

watch?v=aO_z2nO3ByM

ROBOTNIK SEZ!

"HEY KIDS, THERE'S NOTHING MORE COOL THAN STEALING- I MEAN BUYING, YES BUYING SHINY TVS AND OTHER COOL PRODUCTS OFF THE MAGICAL PLACE KNOWN AS THE INTERNET! BUT IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL, YOU COULD END UP GETTING RIPPED OFF, ARRESTED, OR TURNING INTO A GIANT MUTANT SNAIL MONSTER LIKE OUR POOR ENEMY ESCARGOON HERE! SO REMEMBER KIDS, NEVER BUY RIPPED-OFF SHODDY PRODUCTS FROM SHADY VENDORS ON THE INTERNET, BUY THEM FROM ROBOTNIK ENTERPRISES, A SHADY VENDOR WITH A FACE YOU CAN TRUST!"

(Grins evilly at the camera)

Will Robotnik triumph over King Dedede and take his first step towards world domination?  
Will Dedede have any reaction to both his trusted subordinates being defeated?  
Will there be any more stupid ROBOTNIK SEZ segments?

Find out on the next exciting episode of 'Robotnik's Grand Domination', "Robotnik's Grand Overweight Dictator Free-For-All!"


	8. Ep8: Robotnik's Grand Dictator Free-For-

Episode 8: Robotnik's Grand Dictator Free-For-All

Listening Music: Kirby Triple Deluxe: Boss Room

watch?v=KcSdNVKgoF8

Robotnik kicked open the door to the castle balcony, and Dedede was standing there, looking out over the vicnity, completely silent.

"DEDEDE! I, THE GREAT RRRRROBOTNIK, CHALLENGE YOU TO A ONE ON ONE DUEL!"

Dedede turned around, and laughed hard!

"HAHAHAHAHA! Oh, you stupid little man! What makes yeh think that such a fat flobby twerp can defeat the majesty of the GREAT KING DE! DE! DEEEEEEE!"

Robotnik grinned. "OH, THE SIMPLE FACT THAT I BEAT MY WAY THROUGH ALL YOUR MINIONS WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT!" He laughed in triumph.  
Dedede, however, was more pissed off than ever.

"THAT DOES IT!" Dedede stomped the ground and pulled out his hammer. "NO ONE CAN BEAT UP MAH MINIONS EXCEPT ME!"

He pointed his hammer at Robotnik, a steely glare on his face.

"COME ON THEN, CHUBBO! LET'S THROW DOWN!"

Robotnik posed before responding in kind. "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED, KING OF NOTHING!"

Listening Music: Kirby's Return To Dream Land: King Dedede's Theme

watch?v=U1EJtaTc-i0

Self-Proclaimed King of Dream Land

KING DEDEDE

Robotnik had lost his ray gun during the battle with Escarzilla, so close-range combat was his only option! He jumped towards Dedede, winding up for a punch!

Dedede quickly swerved out of the way, and landed a direct hit on Robotnik with his hammer before Robotnik could react!

"HA! You can talk big, but yeh can't back it up!" Dedede wound up for a massive swing, but Robotnik caught the hammer mid-swing, stopping it!

"I KNOW YOU ARE, BUT WHAT AM I?" Robotnik punched the hammer, sending Dedede staggering for a few seconds, but he was quickly back on his feet!

They sparred for a few minutes, each blow from one of them being perfectly deflected from the other! But Robotnik was stronger, and soon Dedede was close to the edge of the balcony!  
Dedede looked over at the edge, and a sweat drop rolled down his face!

Robotnik charged forward, aiming for Dedede's face, but Dedede threw his hammer at Robotnik, stopping him mid-rush!

Robotnik picked up the hammer, laughing heartily. "REALLY, YOU THREW YOUR ONLY WEAPON AT ME-"

He was quickly silenced by Dedede pressing a button on his wrist bracelet, and the hammer yanking itself out of Robotnik's hand and back into Dedede's?

"HEHEHE! YA DIDN'T THINK THAT I WOULDN'T HAVE ANY TRICKS UP MAH SLEEVE?" Dedede jumped high up in the air, aiming for Robotnik!

"I DIDN'T GET TO BE KING OF DREAM LAND THROUGH DIPLOMACY, SEE?!"

Robotnik jumped out the way, leaving Dedede to slam against the ground hard, cracking it slightly! An idea started to form in Robotnik's brain! He grabbed part of the castle parapet, and with a tremendous force, ripped it off!

Robotnik hefted it and tossed it at Dedede, but he whacked it back with his hammer! Robotnik punched it back forward at Dedede with even greater force!  
Dedede grinned, and started charging up his hammer, making it glow red! He smacked the rock with his hammer, that had spontaneously caught on fire for an instant! The now-flaming rock hurtled towards Robotnik, but he jumped out of the way, just barely!  
The flaming rock slammed into the dome on the top of the castle, leaving a massive spiderweb crack! Dedede immediately jumped towards Robotnik, trying to slam him with his hammer, but Robotnik dodged expertly!

Robotnik moved to the spot where the dome was cracked, and taunted Dedede!

"ESCARGOON WAS QUITE THE PUSHOVER, YOU KNOW! HE BEGGED FOR MERCY AFTER ONE PUNCH TO THE FACE!"

Dedede seethed with rage, and leaped towards Robotnik! He had taken the bait! He primed his hammer, yelling at the top of his lungs!

Robotnik dodged, and Dedede's face widened with realization, but he couldn't change his momentum in midair! He slammed directly into the cracked dome, shattering it and bringing down a massive avalanche into his throne room!

Robotnik jumped down to follow Dedede!

Dedede pushed the large pieces of rubble off himself, growling in anger! Robotnik was standing in front of him, laughing!

"WHAT, A LITTLE RUBBLE GOT YOU DOWN, DEDEDE?" Robotnik pointed at him. "READY TO GIVE UP YET!"

Dedede gritted his teeth. "NO ONE INSULTS THE KING OF DREAM LAND LIKE THIS! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Dedede charged at Robotnik and tossed his hammer like a boomerang! Robotnik dodged the first shot, but the return arc grazed him on the back of the head, momentarily dazing him!

Dedede jumped towards Robotnik again, hammer down, but Robotnik punched the hammer, sending Dedede flying!

Dedede caught himself and tossed a large spiked ball at Robotnik! Robotnik dodged, as he couldn't punch it for obvious reasons! Dedede kept tossing out more and more of them, and Robotnik was finding it increasingly difficult to dodge them all!

Robotnik grinned and activated his magnet glove, attracting all the spiked balls to his fist, combining them into a massive spiked ball the size of a tank! Robotnik wound up and tossed it at Dedede with all his might!

Dedede readied himself and hit the spiked ball with a tremendous blow from his hammer! He struggled against it for a little bit, before managing to toss it away! It slammed into a wall, lodging into it and making a massive crack before falling to the ground!

Robotnik didn't waste any time lunging at Dedede! Dedede tossed the hammer at Robotnik, but he kicked it away! The hammer came back at him, spinning furiously, but Robotnik sent it flying back at Dedede with a massive punch!

Dedede leaped up, caught the hammer, and begin to spin ridiculously quickly in circles, so much so that Robotnik couldn't see his individual features!  
Robotnik couldn't slow himself down, and was knocked away by Dedede's new onslaught!

"WHAT IS THIS?!" Robotnik raged, before leaping to the side as Dedede furiously spun towards him!

"MAH NEW MOVE, THE HAMMER CYCLONE!" Dedede quickly righted his trajectory and barreled towards Robotnik again, Robotnik barely managing to dodge!  
Robotnik couldn't keep dodging this forever, there had to be something he could do! He darted in front of the cracked wall with the spiked ball lodged in it! Dedede zoomed towards him, and Robotnik dodged, expecting him to bring the wall down on top of himself!  
Dedede showed no signs of stopping and smashed right through the wall, but immediately rebounded and smashed back through without slowing down!

Robotnik jumped up, and grabbed onto one of the sconces on the wall, hanging there for a second, before jumping up above Dedede!  
Dedede couldn't jump when he was swirling around, so he couldn't dodge an assault from above!

Robotnik rocketed downwards and landed a earth-shattering blow on Dedede's cranium!

Dedede quickly spun out of control and slammed into a wall, getting incredibly dizzy for a moment before getting up!

"Not bad, chubbo! You've got quite a lot of power behind ya!" Dedede grinned. "But you can't handle THIS!"

Dedede began to inhale! It was as if a whirlpool had just materialized in the room! Robotnik held his ground, but started to slip!

Everything in the room from tapestries and chunks of stone, flew towards Dedede's mouth and disappeared into his gullet in an instant! Robotnik couldn't hold his ground any longer, and was dragged towards his gaping maw!

Robotnik activated his magnet glove again, attracting the massive spiked ball that was still in the corner! It was drawn into the path of Dedede's inhaling, and hurtled towards his mouth!

The massive spiked ball slammed into Dedede with such force that it sent him flying out of his castle, creating massive holes in the walls along the way!  
"I CAN'T BE BEAT! I'M THE KING OF DREAM LAAAAAAAAAND!" Dedede wailed as he was propelled away, his voice getting softer by the minute!

Robotnik laughed and did a stupid victory dance!

Listening Music: Kirby's Return to Dream Land: Kirby Dance

watch?v=Duy7jw4be_U

"AHAHAHAHAHA! I WON, DREAM LAND IS MINE-"

Before Robotnik could finish his sentence, Dedede climbed back up the cliff and bellowed at him!

"ALL RIGHT CHUBBOLEUM, THE KID GLOVES ARE OFF NOW!"

Will Robotnik get his ass handed to him by Dedede?

Will Dedede get another, ultra-powerful form?

Will there an opponent that's not Kirby-related for once?

FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF ROBOTNIK'S GRAND DOMINATION, "ROBOTNIK DESTROYS DEDEDE'S DOMINION!"


	9. Ep9: Robotnik Destroys Dedede's Dominion

EPISODE 9: ROBOTNIK DESTROYS DEDEDE'S DOMINION

Before Robotnik could react, another wall busted down, and a large mecha that looked like Dedede trundled through!  
The cockpit opened, and Escargoon popped out! "Sorry I'm late, your Majesty, lots of collapsed walls and stuff to maneuver this thing around!"

Dedede grinned. "WHATEVER! LET'S TAKE THIS POSER DDDDOOOOUUUWNN!"

Robotnik, for the first time in his life, looked legitimately worried about his odds!

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

"OH SHIT!" Robotnik yelled as the full comprehension of what he was about to deal with smacked him across the face like a truck.

Both a very pissed-off Dedede and a giant mecha version of Dedede at the same time? Robotnik doesn't stand a chance-  
"SHUT UP NARRATOR! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DESCRIBE HOW AWESOME I AM, NOT RAMBLE ABOUT HOW I'M GOING TO BE BEATEN TO A PULP!"

Jeez, fine. Smartass.

Listening Music: Kirby's Super Star Ultra: Heavy Lobster's Theme

watch?v=W6jS-_UBo2Y

Decadent Deadly Destroyer

HR-D3

"I'M COMING FOR YA, CHUBBO!" Escargoon yelled as the massive machine smashed its mechanized fists together.

Robotnik couldn't see any weaknesses on the machine! Not even a giant core or anything on the head! Robotnik activated his magnet glove, hoping to slow it down, but the machine didn't even budge!

Escargoon laughed. "Fool! I coated this mecha with a special solution that renders magnets unable to be attracted to it! That won't work this time!"

"WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS A NEW STRATEGY UP MY SLEEVE!"

Robotnik tried to run around the machine, but he didn't get far before gatling guns appeared out of the shoulders of the machine, and started firing!  
"HAHAHAHAHA! I DON'T THINK SO!" Robotnik ran frantically from the rain of bullets, but he couldn't outrun them for long!

"RUN, LITTLE FAT MAN! RUN FROM THE MIGHT OF HR-D3!" Escargoon pressed another button, and a slew of missiles fired themselves out of the back of the machine, rocketing towards Robotnik! He dodged most of them, but one hit him straight in the gut, blowing him away!

He slammed into the wall, dazed. HR-D3 rolled up to him, and aimed the gatling guns at him!  
"AAAAAAAGHGH!" There was no way Robotnik could dodge this entire salvo at once! This might be the end for him! He shut his eyes and-

Nothing.

Robotnik slowly opened his eyes and saw Adeleine standing before him, hefting a giant shield!

"WHAAAAAAAATTTTT?!" Robotnik, Escargoon, Dedede, and the audience all simultaneously screamed at the top of their lungs!

OBLIGATORY EXPLANATORY FLASHBACK SCENE

Adeleine was whacked out the wall by Bandanna Dee, but she quickly drew two pairs of wings, which grafted onto her back, slowing her momentum until she stopped!

She quickly made for Castle Dedede, knowing Robotnik was in trouble!

Adeleine held out a hand to Robotnik, grinning.

Robotnik could not comprehend what was going on. Somebody… wanted to help him out?

Of their own free will?

This… this… conflicted with everything he had been led to believe!

"ENOUGH OF THIS BORING REUNION CRAP!"

Escargoon pressed yet another button, and two giant metal hammers came out of HR-D3's arms!  
"BOTH OF YOU WILL GET SQUISHED FLAT BY THIS MAGNIFICENT MACHINE!" Escargoon lifted his hammer, and quickly brought it down- But it was stopped in its tracks!

Both Robotnik, and Adeleine, who had drawn a large fist, were holding the metal hammer up! They looked at each other, nodded, and punched it backwards!

HR-D3 was sent reeling into the wall, causing a massive shaking!

"HOW MANY WALLS ARE GONNA BE DESTROYED BEFORE THIS IS OVAH?!"

Dedede yelled loudly. Nobody heard him.

Escargoon popped out of the now-totaled mecha, coughing and hacking like crazy.

"OH COME ON! YOUR MAJESTY, DID YOU FORGET TO REPAIR THE SHIELDS AGAIN?!"

Dedede rubbed his chin. "Well, I haven't used that thing in so long, I guess reparations never happened."

"YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME-" Before Escargoon could finish, the lid of the mecha slammed down, trapping him inside. His muffled ranting could still be heard.

Dedede staggered backwards slowly, stumbling badly.

"HAHAHA! LOOK AT YOU! YOU CAN BARELY WALK!" Robotnik yelled loudly while sauntering towards him. "GIVE UP ALREADY-"  
"NEVER!" Dedede interrupted Robotnik with such force that he was startled into being silent momentarily!

Listening Music: Kirby Triple Deluxe: Masked Dedede

watch?v=xStEdivU9JE

"I AM THE GRAND KING OF DREAM LAND, AND I DID NOT GAIN THIS POST BY GIVING UP AND RUNNING OFF AT THE SLIGHTEST THREAT! I WORKED HARD TO GET HERE, AND I'M CERTAINLY NOT GOING TO LAY DOWN AND ADMIT DEFEAT TO YOU!"

Dedede pressed a button on the handle of his hammer, and the wood paneling peeled away to reveal a metal casing with all sorts of buttons and wires on it! The hammer sparked with energy, and Dedede hefted it with ease before pulling a mask out of his pocket and putting it on.

He glared at Robotnik before pressing a button on his hammer, causing the floor both of them were standing on to transform into a massive wrestling arena with electrified walls, which then rocketed up into the stratosphere!

Speakers popped out of the arena and started playing badass music!

"BRING IT, INTRUDER!" Dedede yelled.  
"GLADLY!" Robotnik proclaimed.

WILL ROBOTNIK DEFEAT KING DEDEDE FOR REAL THIS TIME?

WILL DEDEDE PULL OUT AWESOME FLASHY TECHNIQUES OUT OF HIS ASS?

WILL HR-D3 EVER NOT BE AN ANTI-CLIMAX?

FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF ROBOTNIK'S GRAND DOMINATION, "ROBOTNIK DEMOLISHES DEDEDE'S DOMINION: FOR REALS THIS TIME!"


	10. Ep10: Robotnik Demolishes Dedede's Domin

EPISODE 10: ROBOTNIK DEMOLISHES DEDEDE'S DOMINION: FOR REALS THIS TIME!

Listening Music: Kirby Triple Deluxe: Masked Dedede

watch?v=xStEdivU9JE

The King's True Power

Masked Dedede

Dedede quickly leaped toward Robotnik, slamming his hammer downward! Robotnik punched the hammer on its downward arc, sending it backwards! Dedede caught it, however, and resumed his furious attacking!

Dedede swung his hammer around repeatedly, trying to hit Robotnik, each swing more powerful and quick than the last! Robotnik dodged and blocked each one, but he was getting weaker, and each block pushed him closer to the electrified walls!

Dedede pressed a button on his hammer, and the hammer became charged with electricity, sparking visibly! Robotnik saw an opportunity, and dodged out of the way, causing Dedede to smack the electrified wall with his hammer!

Unfortunately, this did not faze him in the slightest! Dedede turned around, no worse for wear!

"WHAT ARE YOU?!" Robotnik yelled.

"I AM… THE KING OF DREAM LAND!" Dedede leapt high up into the air, and shot a massive salvo of missiles out of the front of his hammer!

Robotnik dodged and leaped to the side, but the missiles kept following him! He activated his magnet glove, using it to send the volley back at Dedede!

Dedede readied himself and spun around so fast his movements became a blur, smacking all the missiles away into the air, where they all exploded at once! He touched down, and pressed another button on his hammer!

The magnet glove on Robotnik's hand shook violently, and popped and crackled, smoke rising off of it like a well-done steak!

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Robotnik demanded.  
"That thing was gettin' ta be mighty big nuisance, so I gave it a dash of EMP!" Dedede lifted his hammer, and the front opened.

Robotnik jumped out of the way, just barely, as a massive stream of flames erupted out of the front of the hammer! Dedede whirled the hammer around, sending the onslaught back towards Robotnik! He dodged again, and the hammer melted off part of the electrified walls, leaving a large, sparking hole!

Robotnik rushed towards the sparking hole, which had several wires exposed! He grabbed a live cable with the now-defunct magnet glove, which was specially coated with rubber to nullify electricity! He ripped it out of the wall, and held it in front of him, the piece of wire still sparking!

Dedede rushed at Robotnik, trying to smack him, but Robotnik blocked the hammer with the cable, parrying it away! Dedede leapt backwards, launching more missiles, but Robotnik smacked them all out of the way, making them all explode in the air!

Dedede growled and jumped high up in the air, charging up a huge beam with his hammer! Robotnik leapt up in the air towards him, sparking wire aimed directly towards Dedede!

Dedede shot the beam at Robotnik, but he just barely missed! Robotnik slammed Dedede in the gut with the wire, making him fall to the ground!

Listening Music: Masked Dedede Metal Cover (GaMetal)

watch?v=KNhNcmL51D0

Dedede got up slowly, his mask having cracked a bit!

"I… WILL NOT LOSE... "  
He leaped up and his hammer got even bigger, with a massive cannon on one side and an axe blade on the other!

"TO A WORTHLESS FAT INVADER!"

Robotnik sneered. "LOOK WHO YOU'RE CALLING FAT!"

Dedede growled in rage and leaped up into the air, slamming the axe blade into the arena floor!

He quickly turned around and tossed the hammer, causing it to whirl around like a boomerang! Robotnik jumped above it, and it slice through all the walls of the flying arena, causing them to fall apart!  
Dedede caught the hammer without missing a beat, and quickly swung around the hammer at a ridiculous speed, so much so that he could fly through the air!

Robotnik frantically dodged as Dedede swooped and whirled at him, then jumped on top of one of the Dedede statues on the corners of the arena, tore off its head, jumped above Dedede, and drop kicked it toward him!

Dedede quickly stopped spinning, and activated the flamethrower in his hammer, melting the statue head before it could hit him, then launching a volley of missiles at Robotnik!  
Robotnik quickly jumped off the statue, tore out a section of the floor, and threw it at the missiles, blocking them all! A fragment of the chunk still flew towards Dedede, and he smacked it back at Robotnik!

Robotnik punched it back at Dedede, but he sliced it in half with the axe!

Robotnik grabbed a battleaxe that one of the statues was holding, and sliced at Dedede, who quickly blocked it, and knocked Robotnik to the ground! Dedede swung at Robotnik again, but Robotnik held him off with the ax handle!

Sparks flew off the ax handle as Dedede tried to push through it, but Robotnik saw his chance and kicked Dedede in the belly! This threw him off long enough for Robotnik to get up and land a massive kick directly to Dedede's face!

The mask cracked even more!

Dedede jumped into the air, and slammed the ax blade into the floor of the arena so hard that it cracked in half, and fell to the ground at terminal velocity! Robotnik held onto his battleaxe, and readied himself for another onslaught!

Dedede aimed his hammer away from Robotnik, and fired a beam at a nearby arena chunk, launching himself at Robotnik!

Their respective axes clashed repeatedly, sending out massive clanging sounds as their blades struck! Robotnik kicked Dedede to knock him away, and started spinning around while holding the axe!

Dedede laughed! "HAHAHAHA! YOU CAN'T MASTER MAH TECHNIQUE SO QUICKLY-"

Robotnik cut him off with an ax slash directly to Dedede's face, knocking off what was left of his mask!

Dedede started spinning around again, slamming into Robotnik's own spinning technique again and again! Dedede slammed into a chunk of arena, sending at Robotnik, only for Robotnik to slice it into little tiny pieces!

The two clashed with each other, both pushing with all their might, until the struggle broke and both were sent flying!

Dedede saw a massive hunk of stone falling towards him, whacking it towards Robotnik! Robotnik frantically looked around for anything to use! Seeing another Dedede statue, he grabbed it, and got into a batting stance!

"TIME FOR A GRRRRRAND SLAM!" Robotnik hit the piece of stone back at Dedede, sending it back towards him too fast for him to react, and it hit him at full force!

Robotnik quickly grabbed the battleaxe the statue was holding in his other hand, and charged towards Dedede, dual wielding battleaxes!

Dedede launched more missiles at Robotnik, but he slashed furiously with his axes and knocked every single one of them away, and continued charging!

Dedede tried to block, but he couldn't defend very well against two battleaxes at once! He tried firing a gigantic beam from his hammer, but Robotnik jammed one of his blades in the hole!

The hammer sparked and started exploding! Robotnik kicked Dedede upwards, where the hammer blew up in a spectactular fashion, sending Dedede hurtling downwards!

Robotnik hefted his ax, wound up, and smacked Dedede's head with the flat end, sending him zooming downwards directly into his castle, which blew up and caused a massive mushroom cloud upon impact!

Robotnik started to do a victory dance again, but remembered that he was falling from the sky at terminal velocity!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

His screaming was cut off by Adeleine, who had again given herself wings, catching him.

"MANY THANKS, ADELEINE!" Robotnik said.

Adeleine nodded silently.

AN HOUR OR SO LATER AT CAPPY TOWN!

Listening Music: Kirby's Dream Land: Ending Theme

watch?v=xtjvaCm0GHw

"ALL HAIL THE GREAT HERO, THAT FREED DREAM LAND FROM THE KING'S RULE!"

All the Cappies were bowing at Robotnik's feet!

He did not know what to make of this. He expected them to be running in fear, not respect!

Oh well. A new territory conquered is a new territory conquered, no matter how it is gained.

"EVERYONE! I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE!" Robotnik yelled. All the Cappies immediately stopped cheering and listened intently.

"SADLY, I CANNOT STAY IN YOUR HUMBLE VILLAGE FOR LONG, AS I HAVE PLACES TO GO AND THINGS TO DO!" The Cappies looked sad. "HOWEVER, I ELECT THE HUMBLE ADELEINE TO WATCH OVER YOU AS YOUR RULER UNTIL I RETURN!"

More cheers.

"ALL HAIL THE GREAT ADELEINE! ALL HAIL!"  
"WE MUST CELEBRATE!" A Cappy rolled out a massive tray full of different unhealthily succulent meat dishes. "PLEASE STAY A LITTLE LONGER, GREAT HERO!"

Robotnik thought about this for all of one second before his mind immediately made its decision.

There was much feasting that night.

As Robotnik walked back towards the teleportation rendezvous point, he felt something tap on his back.

He turned around, and Adeleine was standing there.

"WHAT IS IT?" Adeleine said nothing, but she looked quite downcast. Robotnik went through all the possibilities of what she was thinking in his head, tossed out ninety percent of them because they were horrible and disgusting, and settled on the most obvious one.

"You're afraid of being treated badly because of your powers, aren't you?"

Adeleine looked surprised. It took a tremendous effort for Robotnik to not yell at the top of his lungs.

Robotnik bent down and looked at her. "Don't worry- if anyone does, I'll come back and sort them out."

Adeleine's expression brightened, and a grin appeared on her face.

She quickly drew a rubber ball with a smiley face on it, and tossed it to Robotnik.

He caught it, stared at it for a moment, and stuck it in his pocket. He waved to Adeleine as he walked away.

She waved back.

And it was said that the tyrant's heart grew three sizes that day.

Listening Music: Kirby Right Back At Ya- Escargoon's Theme

watch?v=pEf-travTdk

"Whew, glad I got out of there!"

Escargoon surveyed the ruins of Castle Dedede from the hill.

"So, Dedede's… dead, huh?" Escargoon grinned. "HAHAHAHAHA, NOW DREAM LAND WILL BE MINE NOW THAT I'M NO LONGER UNDER THAT PESKY PENGUIN'S THUMB-"

"I'm an eagle, Escargoon."

Escargoon hurriedly turned around, and Dedede was standing there, looking very beat up.

"YOUR MAJESTY! I didn't see you there-"

"Save your grand plans until after I kick it, Escargoon. We're goin' back to mah castle!"

Escargoon raised his eyebrow. "Why, exactly?"

"Where's that mecha you were usin' earlier? We need to get it back and fix it up!"

Dedede ran off, back toward the castle.

"Your Majesty, wait for me!"

WILL ROBOTNIK GET TO FIGHT A NON-KIRBY OPPONENT NOW?

WILL DEDEDE COME BACK AS A GREATER THREAT?

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO COCONUTS?

FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF ROBOTNIK'S GRAND DOMINATION, "ROBOTNIK ENGAGES IN MORE RANDOM STUPIDITY!"

Author's Note: So yeah, this is the end of the Dedede Arc. I'm not going to reveal the name of the next one until the main antagonist is know, but it'll be longer than this one, at least 10 episodes. I hope you all are having fun reading this, I'm certainly having a lot of fun writing it!

Suggestions for characters to appear in the comments are appreciated!


	11. Ep11: ROBOTNIK ENGAGES IN MORE RANDOM ST

EPISODE 11: ROBOTNIK ENGAGES IN MORE RANDOM STUPIDITY

Listening Music: Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog- Robotnik's Theme

watch?v=aO_z2nO3ByM

"COCONUTS!"

Robotnik burst through the door, smashing it to smithereenies! Coconuts rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Yes, Your Malodorousness?"

"SET THE TELEPORTER FOR THESE COORDINATES-"

The scouter fell off of Robotnik's face and desintegrated into a million tiny pieces.

Coconuts quickly snuck away and hid behind the desk.

"WHHHHHAHHHHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT!?"

Robotnik yelled so loudly it caused the windows to shatter.

"NOW HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CONQUER THE WORLD IF I DON'T KNOW WHO TO CONQUER-"

"Your Awfulness, there's someone at the door!" Coconuts meekly stuttered.

"Hello, Ivo!" The front door of Robotnik's fortress opened, and Dr. Wily walked in, a shit-eating grin plastered across his face.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WERE BEHIND THE SCOUTER?!"  
Robotnik screamed while Wily rolled on the floor laughing up a storm.

"I-I couldn't resist! I knew you'd fall for it and probably go do something stupid, and that'd be HILARIOUS!" Wily continued laughing.  
"I COULD'VE GOTTEN MYSELF KILLED A HUNDRED TIMES OVER-" "But you didn't, and you conquered Dream Land for yourself, and that's all that matters, right?"

Robotnik thought for a moment.

"I knew if you had the right motivation, you could do anything you wanted, so I gave it to you, and boom! You've conquered an entire nation in an afternoon! I'm so proud of you, Ivo!"

Wily said all this with a vaguely mocking tone to his voice.

"Don't stop here! The whole world can be your oyster!" Wily slapped Robotnik on the back. "Just let me join in and have a little fun, all right? It gets boring having to come up with stupid themed robots every year! OH! Speaking of which-"

Wily dug around in his pocket and pulled out a brochure!

It said "COME SEE DOCTOR WILY'S MAGNIFICENT MERMAIDS! STARRING THE SLICK METAL BEAUTY HERSELF, SPLASH WOMAN!"

The picture is of a large well-proportioned mermaid robot with a seductive look on her face in a pool lit by rainbow disco balls with lots of geysers positioned around it.

Robotnik looked at Wily and raised his eyebrow. "SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME IN JAPAN AGAIN, WILY?"

Wily sweated slightly. "Maybe."

Listening Music: Mega Man 9- Splash Woman's Theme

watch?v=l7qcJwJfyyk

An hour later, both of them were at the front row of Wily Stadium in the back of Wily Castle, with a large decorative skull covering the entrance. Very flashy.

There was a large pool with several geysers inside it, lots of lights, and speakers all around it! The legions of fans were yelling their lungs out in anticipation of the magnificent show!

"WILY, WHERE DID YOU COME UP WITH THIS?" Robotnik questioned.

"Oh, Ivo! I came up with this the same way I come up with all my robots- I got ridiculously high and picked a random word out of the dictionary!"

Robotnik laughed hard in response. "OH, SO THAT'S WHY SHEEP MAN AND CLOWN MAN EXIST! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Attention, everyone! The show is about to start, so please stay in your seats! And if you're in the SPLASH zone, make sure to put all your electronics away!"

(GEDDIT ITS A TERRIBLE PUN GO AHEAD AND THROW YOUR TOMATOES AT THE COMPUPER SCREEN I'LL WAIT)

The lights in the stadium dimmed, and soft easy listening music started wafting through the stadium.

Splash Woman rose out from a compartment in the center of the stadium, with six other mermaid robots surrounding her! They were each a different color of the rainbow, creating a striking visual arrangement.

"Helloooooo, everyone! Are you all excited?!"

The crowd roared in approval!

"I CAN'T HEAAAAAARR YOU!"

The crowd roared louder!

One guy in the crowd threw his popcorn in the air and yelled "MARRY ME, SPLASH WOMAN!"

Listening Music: Mega Man X7: Soul Asylum

watch?v=YUdOd3xICc4

"All riight! Now, I've got a great show lined up for all my lovely fans in attendance today, so let's start-"

A slight spark was visible on the side of Splash Woman's head.

"The songs- I mean- what was I-"  
The sparks continued, getting more and more visible. Splash Woman's speech was getting more and more stilted, and she was visibly twitching.

"Wily? Is this supposed to be happening?" Robotnik nudged Wily with a worried look on his face. Wily shook his head sideways.

Splash Woman's eyes turned purple, and she began to rise up into the air.  
"Sorry about that, fans! Now, back to where I left off-"

A large trident appeared in her hand and she whirled it around with a flourish.

Listening Music: Mega Man X5: Vs. Maverick

watch?v=ZXCqjB_Zn1o

"DESTROYING YOU ALL!"

With a wave of her hand, she caused a massive tsunami to appear and smash one of the stadium walls, causing a massive damage to Wily's castle and insurance plan!

"NOOO! I THOUGHT I HAD WORKED OUT ALL THE BUGS!" Wily yelled in annoyance.

Robotnik leapt towards Splash Woman to deal with her, but Wily grabbed the back of his collar.  
"WILY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! I HAVE TO-"  
"I'm not stopping you, Ivo!" Wily pressed a button on his personal chair, and it began to levitate into the air and grow several weapons of various types all over it, with a large force field around it for good measure!

"You can't have all the battles to yourself, you know!" Wily laughed.

The two charged towards the rogue robotic pop star, weapons in hand!

"Ha ha ha! Well, now, it looks like you two are awfully persistent!" Splash Woman aimed her trident at the duo! "SORRY, BUT I DON'T GIVE AUTOGRAPHS!"

WILL ROBOTNIK AND WILY NOT TRIP OVER EACH OTHER IN THE FIGHT?

DID ROBOTNIK EVER GET A NEW RAY GUN?

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF SPLASH WOMAN'S PURPLE EYES?

FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF ROBOTNIK'S GRAND DOMINATION, "ROBOTNIK BECOMES THE ENVY OF BASEMENT DWELLERS EVERYWHERE!"


	12. Ep12: ROBOTNIK BECOMES THE ENVY OF BASEM

EPISODE TWELVE: ROBOTNIK BECOMES THE ENVY OF BASEMENT DWELLERS EVERYWHERE

Listening Music: Mega Man X5: Vs. Maverick

watch?v=ZXCqjB_Zn1o

The Ultimate Robot Mistress

Splash Woman

Splash Woman whirled her trident around, and pointed at Robotnik! Her differently-colored counterparts all charged simultaneously at the duo!

Robotnik grinned, and pressed a button on his arm! A large cannon came out and covered his right hand!

"CAN'T KNOCK THIS AWAY FROM ME, CAN YOU? INTRODUCING THE RRRRRROBOTNIK BUSTER!" He fired a large spray of energy pellets at the approaching mermaids, stunning them momentarily! That was all the time Wily needed to fire a group of missiles at them, landing direct hits on them all and launching them into the side of the stadium!

"Bah! They were holding me back!" Splash Woman's trident began glowing with power! "Now, I can ascend to be the star I was ALWAYS MEANT TO BE!"

She began firing a storm of lasers at the duo! Robotnik couldn't do anything to stop it, but Wily could! He pressed a few buttons, and the force field around his chair enlarged to cover them both!

"GREAT NEW TOY, WILY!" Robotnik yelled. "I try, Ivo!" Wily responded.

Robotnik began firing at Splash Woman, with Wily quickly following suit! Splash Woman whirled her trident around in a circle blocking all the shots, then threw the trident at Robotnik!

Robotnik grinned, activated his magnet glove to attract the trident, and tossed it back at her!

She grinned, and caught it mid-flight, completely negating the effect!

"WHAT?!" Robotnik yelled. "Cheer up, Ivo! I wouldn't build my robots without a failsafe in case they tried to usurp me!"

Wily pointed at Splash Woman while steering his chair out of the way of a massive laser blast from her trident! "There's a button on the small of her back that will disable her functions completely! GO FOR THAT!"

Robotnik nodded and charged, while firing the Robotnik Buster repeatedly at Splash Woman!

She laughed haughtily, and pointed her trident skyward! The water in the arena began to churn and rumble, and quickly formed a massive wall of water!

She tried to launch it at Robotnik, but Wily fired a laser cannon at her, momentarily distracting her long enough for her to lose control and make it dissipate! Wily continued his assault with various lasers, machine guns, and flamethrowers! Splash Woman couldn't fend off this many projectiles at once, and she began to falter slightly!

Robotnik saw his chance, and after charging up momentarily, fired a CHARGE SHOT out of the Robotnik Buster at Splash Woman! She was so busy fending off Wily's attacks, that she didn't notice until it was too late!

"NO! NOT THE CHARGED SHOOOOOOOTTTTT-"

She batted it aside like it was nothing.  
Robotnik's jaw dropped.

"THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN DO? HAHAHAHAHA!" Splash Woman laughed while charging up another beam from her trident, but before she could do anything, Wily lobbed an EMP ball at her, and it smacked her directly into the face!  
"WHAT?! HOW?!" She screamed as she sank slowly to the ground, sparking and twitching!  
"IVO! THAT SHOULD DISABLE HER FLIGHT POWERS! NOW'S YOUR CHANCE! I'LL COVER YOU FROM BACK HERE-"  
"NO, YOU WON'T!" Splash Woman snapped her fingers, and her mermaid servant robots charged at Wily, mobbing him! He activated his force field, repelling them, but they hung on and bashed at it over and over again!  
Robotnik didn't have time to worry about his friend, as Splash Woman had charged at him, slashing and stabbing furiously with her trident! Robotnik ducked under one thrust, dodged to the side for another, and finally grabbed the trident in the middle of her attack!  
"LET. GO!" Splash Woman struggled to take it back from Robotnik, and tried to yank it out of his grip, but he held on!  
"NOT LIKELY!" He wrenched it back towards him, giving him the leverage he needed to use the trident to flip Splash Woman and slam her on the ground so hard that it cracked!

He tried to do it again, but Splash Woman saw it coming and twisted her body so she landed right-side up, then quickly lunged at Robotnik, aiming her trident towards his neck!

A wide grin spread across her face, as she forced the sharp points of the weapon ever closer to his neck as he strained to keep them away!  
Robotnik couldn't move with this heavy metal mermaid on top of him, and Splash Woman's trident began to charge up again!  
"DIIIIEEE!" She laughed maniacally as Robotnik struggled against her weight!

Wily was frantically pressing buttons on his console, but the combined weight of the mermaid robots had disabled his mobility functions! He couldn't move the chair, and the force field was getting weaker from the strain every second!

He couldn't use his ranged weapons from this short a distance, and the force field was a defensive barrier, not an offensive-

Or was it!

Wily grinned and laughed the same way he did when he came up with a new way to usurp the plot from the villain of the week, and began pressing buttons quickly!

The force field began to steadily enlarge, with the mermaid robots still hanging on! After it got big enough, it shorted out and exploded, sending the mermaid robots flying away again!

With the weight removed, Wily could move his chair around again!  
He turned around, and saw Robotnik being pinned under Splash Woman's trident!

"IVO!" He flew towards Robotnik, aiming a massive shot towards Splash Woman!

Splash Woman turned around, distracted by Wily's return, long enough for Robotnik to get his arm free and aim the Robotnik Buster at Splash Woman! He had been charging up the entire time she was pinning him down, and unloaded a charge shot directly into her chest!

"AAAAAARRRRGGHH!"  
Robotnik tackled her, trying to hit the button on her back, but she smacked him in the gut with her tail, sending him flying!

"TRY TO DO THAT TO ME, WILL YOU!" She strutted towards Robotnik with a mask of rage stretched across her face! She pinned him down, and slammed her tail into his jaw, dazing him momentarily! She aimed her trident at him, charging it up! "IT MAKES ME SICK-"  
She was cut off by Wily firing a laser cannon directly into her tail, making it heat up and spark, momentarily catching her off guard!

"IVO, NOW! GO FOR IT!" Wily yelled.

Robotnik grabbed Splash Woman's torso, found the button, and pressed it!

"TO MY Stooommaaachh-" Splash Woman released steam and water from the seams of her body, and collapsed. Her eyes turned back to normal, a deep blue.

Wily strode over, bending down to check her out.

"I don't know what happened." He opened Splash Woman's rear panel, and began examining it. "I don't program my robots for world domination anymore, so what could have- AH!"

He pulled out a capsule filled with purple liquid, and emblazoned with the greek letter Sigma.

"Well, this is clearly the problem. Whatever is in here caused Splash Woman to go berserk. But what is it, who put it there, and why?"  
Robotnik shrugged. "MAYBE A FORMER GIRLFRIEND WANTS REVENGE ON YOU?"

Wily rolled his eyes. "Give me a break, Ivo. That's ridiculous."

WHAT IS THE MYSTERY OF THE RECURRING PURPLE LIQUID?  
DOES DOCTOR WILY HAVE AN EX-GIRLFRIEND?

IS SPLASH WOMAN BUILT IN AN ANATOMICALLY CORRECT FASHION?  
FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF ROBOTNIK'S GRAND-

"Oh, COME ON! I may be an evil doctor bent on world domination, but I'm not THAT evil!" Wily so rudely interrupted the narrator to contradict what he was saying.

FINE.  
DOES DOCTOR WILY HAVE A CLOSETED ROBOT FETISH?

"HEY!"  
FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF ROBOTNIK'S GRAND DOMINATION, "ROBOTNIK GOES UNDER THE SEA!" OR "DOCTOR WILY IS IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS PERVERSIONS NO MATTER HOW OBVIOUS THEY ARE!"


	13. Ep13: ROBOTNIK GOES UNDER THE SEA!

EPISODE THIRTEEN: ROBOTNIK GOES UNDER THE SEA!

Author's Note: Splash Woman is from Mega Man 9.

Listening Music: Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog- Robotnik's Theme

watch?v=aO_z2nO3ByM

"Well, I think I've figured something out." Wily put the capsule that was inside Splash Woman under a microscope. "Take a look at this."

Sucker marks were clearly visible on the capsule's casing.

"SOOO, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!" Robotnik didn't get it.

"...Remember that off-handed comment about my ex wanting revenge?"

"YES?! SO- WAIT… I WAS RIGHT?!" Robotnik was having trouble believing that his off-handed guess was right on the money.

"Yes. There's only one person who knows how to operate machines and has tentacles that I know…" Wily intoned. "And it's my ex-girlfriend, Ursula!"

Robotnik raised his eyebrow. "YOU DATED HER?"  
Wily rolled his eyes. "Mutual bonding over world domination. Sue me, I have really poor taste, it seems."

Robotnik stood up and patted his friend on the back. "WELL, I CAN'T LET SOMEONE RUIN MY EVIL SCIENCE COLLEAGUE'S HARD WORK!" He posed dramatically. "WHERE'S THIS URSULA HIDING?!"

Wily laughed. "Sorry, Ivo, but that won't work. She lives at the bottom of the ocean, and last I checked, you don't have gills. BUT I can probably whip something up… give me a minute!"

Wily ran off into his lab and loud crashing noises and explosions were heard for half an hour.

Wily came out of his lab carrying a large bubble-shaped helmet with an antenna on it.

"WHAT IS THAT, EXACTLY?" Robotnik questioned.

"Introducing my newest invention, the Bubble Helmet! I ripped off Bubble Man's mask and used it to make this! Now you can breathe underwater indefinitely! I think."  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU THINK?!"

"Hey, it's better than nothing. Besides, I'm not letting you go in there alone! I've brought you some backup! COME ON OUT!"

A large door opened up, and behind it was… SPLASH WOMAN!

"WHAT?! HOW?! WHAAAAAAA-"  
"Calm down, Ivo, I fixed her! Now she's back to normal!"

"Sorry about earlier, Robo!" Splash Woman sauntered over, every sign of her possessed state completely gone. "Wasn't in the best of moods. That Ursula, NO ONE disrupts MY show and gets away with it! SHE'S GOING DOWN!"

Robotnik looked over at Wily. "ARE YOU SURE SHE'S BETTER?" Wily chuckled. "Oh, Ivo, this is how she is normally. What you see on stage is completely different. Now, off with you two, I have another surprise!"

"YOU NEVER CEASE TO IMPRESS, ALBERT!" Robotnik announced.

"Well, he's certainly a big boy, isn't he?" Splash Woman muttered to herself.

Standing before the two was a giant robotic dragon pacing around in a room, chewing on a large metal girder.

"I call him Drago." Both Robotnik and Splash Woman looked at him with incredulous looks on their faces. "Yes, I know I'm terrible with names. But he'll take you wherever you want to go, even underwater!"

"Uh… Nice dragon?" Splash Woman slowly approached, obvious fear on her face.

Drago turned around and…

...nuzzled Splash Woman.

"Aren't you the cutest little dragon! Yes, you are!"

"WILY, YOU REALLY HAVE GRADUATED BEYOND MAKING STUPID THEMED KILLING MACHINES!" Robotnik said.

"Oh, stop it. Go! TAKE DOWN URSULA AND PROTECT MY SHOW BUSINESS!" Wily pointed forcefully at Drago.

Splash Woman was scratching Drago's belly. "Oh, you're such a cute little killing machine!"

Wily facepalmed. "Perhaps we should wait until Splash Woman has overcome the cuteness proximity effect." Robotnik nodded.

Listening Music: Mr. Krabs' Theme

watch?v=4PDvV9uQjf8

"URSULA!" Mr. Krabs kicked open the door to Ursula's boudoir, panting in exhaustion.  
She turned around, grimacing. "WHAT is it, Eugene? You KNOW not to bother me when I'm in the middle of something!"  
"There's a GRRRREAT BIG MECHANICAL DRAGON HEADING TOWARDS OUR LAIRRRRR-"  
"WHAT?!" Ursula rushed out to the window, confirming it was true. The large dragon robot was getting closer.

"I recognize that robot, it's from Doctor WILY! Hmph. Trying to win me back, is he? Well, that's too bad!" She pointed at Mr. Krabs. "FIRE THE TORPEDOES!"

"YES, MA'AM!" Mr. Krabs ran off.

"I'll teach that scientist to scorn ME! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ursula laughed evilly.

WILL URSULA BE MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN KING DEDEDE?

WILL ROBOTNIK'S BUBBLE HELMET ACTUALLY WORK?

WILL MR. KRABS EVER GET A PAY RAISE?

FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF ROBOTNIK'S GRAND DOMINATION, "ROBOTNIK HAS A BETTER OFFER!"


	14. Ep14: ROBOTNIK HAS A BETTER OFFER!

EPISODE FOURTEEN: ROBOTNIK HAS A BETTER OFFER

Author's Note: In case you couldn't tell, this is Ursula from The Little Mermaid. The origin of Krabs should be very obvious. Drago is basically the massive mecha dragon boss from Mega Man 2, except cooler.

Also, from here to chapter 16, the pacing might slow down a little. My bad, it gets better after that.

Listening Music: SpongeBob: Battle For Bikini Bottom: Spongebob's Dream

watch?v=mSzjxulx1cE

Robotnik and Splash Woman were riding on Drago towards Ursula's undersea palace, and there was nothing at all going wrong.

This would not last for long, but let's pretend it does.

"GEE, IT SURE IS BORING AROUND HERE!" Robotnik said.

"I just wonder what Ursula's up to!" Splash Woman muttered to herself.

The duo heard a loud screaming off in the distance, that was quickly approaching them at a ridiculous speed!

"WHAT IS THAT?!" Robotnik said before being cut off by a large torpedo whizzing by them!

Splash Woman pressed a button on the back of Drago's neck, and he whirled around several more torpedoes that rocketed past them and exploded, sending ripples throughout the water?

"YAAAAAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!"

A loud, annoying crab riding on a massive nuclear warhead was heading directly towards the duo, with a maniacal grin on his face!

"THAT REFERENCE ISN'T FUNNY, KIDS! NOW, ARRRRR YA READY FOR THE THRASHING OF A LIFETIME?!"

Robotnik jumped off Drago's back and onto the ocean floor, the Bubble Helmet functioning in perfect working order! The interloper followed, grinning widely!

"SPLASH WOMAN, GET THAT MISSILE OFF YOUR TAIL FIRST! I CAN HANDLE THIS OVERGROWN CRUSTACEAN!" Robotnik flexed muscularly!

Splash Woman nodded, and steered Drago away, the massive warhead following behind them.

The two adversaries stared each other down, neither one moving an inch.

"I ASSUME YOU'RE WORKING FOR THAT WRETCHED URSULA!" Robotnik yelled.

"YA BET I AM, AND SHE'S OFFERIN' ME A LOT OF MONEY FOR YERRR HEAD!" The intruder responded. He flexed his claws and beckoned for Robotnik to come closer!

"AND BY THE IRON SHELL OF EUGENE KRABS, I'LL HAVE YERR REAR END CUT OFF, AND MOUNTED OVER HER FIREPLACE!"

Listening Music: The Spongebob Squarepants Movie Game: Final Boss Music

watch?v=YB8SGnNoSsE

CASH-COVETING CRUSTACEAN

MR. EUGENE KRABS

"I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT…" Mr Krabs pounded his claws together before charging at Robotnik at a ridiculous speed!  
"IIIII'MMMM FEEEEEELING LIKE A TOTAL BARNACLE HEAAAAAD!"

Mr. Krabs lunged at Robotnik with a claw, but Robotnik dodged it, and countered with a punch!

"I'M IN THE MOOD FOR A SUCCULENT SEAFOOD DINNER TODAY!"

But Krabs shrugged it off like it was nothing, and continued his assault, getting closer to pinching Robotnik with every attempt!  
Robotnik dodged around behind Mr. Krabs and launched a flurry of jabs and punches at the back of Mr. Krabs' head, but he just turned around, none the worse for wear!

"HAHAHAHA! OLD IRON-SHELL KRABS DOESN'T EVEN BLINK AT YOUR PUNY LITTLE FISTS!" Krabs whirled around and grabbed Robotnik's arm, clenching it, threatening to chop it off! Robotnik aimed the Robotnik Buster at Mr. Krabs' face, and unloaded several shots into it, distracting him long enough to wrench himself of Krabs' grip!

Robotnik rushed farther away, unloading a massive volley of shots onto Mr. Krabs, but he kept coming as if they didn't even faze him! He just absorbed them like they had no effect!  
"FOOL!" Mr. Krabs picked up a massive rock from the ocean floor and tossed it at Robotnik!

"I SPENT TEN YEARRRS IN THE BIKINI BOTTOM MILITARY GETTIN' MY SHELL BASHED EVERY DAY! THAT PEA SHOOTER WON'T WORK ON MEEEEE!"

Robotnik quickly charged up a charge shot on the Robotnik Buster, and fired at the massive rock, blowing it to smithereenies!

"PEA SHOOTER?" Robotnik retorted. "HAHAHA! TRY THIS ON FOR SIZE THEN, YOU OVERGROWN SEAFOOD DINNER!"

He pressed a button on the Robotnik Buster, and it suddenly began shifting in size, taking itself apart and putting itself back together into an even bigger model of itself!

"INTRODUCING THE ROBOTNIK BUSTER VERSION ONE! POINT! FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!"

Robotnik immediately began firing massive bursts of energy at Mr. Krabs, each one the size of a normal charge shot! Mr. Krabs steeled himself for the onslaught, grabbed a nearby sunken ship, quickly shredded it into tossable pieces, and began throwing them all at the energy bursts!

"IT ONLY! FIRES! CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGED SSSSHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSS!" Robotnik screamed loudly!

More and more energy blasts came at Mr. Krabs as Robotnik darted around him to strafe him from all angles! Mr. Krabs kept tossing debris at the shots to dissipate them, but he couldn't keep them away from all directions, and one smacked him directly in the forehead, knocking him down momentarily!

"RAAAAAAR!" Mr. Krabs stood up after a moment, roaring in anger!

"GET OVER HERE AND FIGHT ME LIKE A REAAAAAALLLL MAAAAA-"

He was abruptly cut off by Robotnik belting him in the back of the head repeatedly until he fell over!

"HAHAHA!" Robotnik gloated-

"I'M! NOT! DONE! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTT!"

Mr. Krabs charged at Robotnik, uppercutting him into the high water! He had the wind knocked out of him momentarily, but he quickly came back to his senses to see Krabs rocketing towards him!

Thinking quickly, he fired a large amount of shots at Mr. Krabs, then fired one behind him to propel him back forward!

Mr. Krabs slashed and pinched with his claws repeatedly, shredding all the charged shots to nothing more than energy paste! He opened his mouth to swallow the biggest one, and belched loudly enough to make the entire ocean vibrate!

Robotnik charged downward with his fist extended, the Robotnik Buster 1.5 vibrating quickly as it glowed green!

Mr. Krabs readied his claws as he approached Robotnik with the speed of an orca that had smelled blood!

Their fists collided with such force that a ripple was sent through the water all around them!

"I'LL LOOT YEERRRRRR COOOORRRRRPPPPSSEEE!"

Mr. Krabs swiped with a claw, but Robotnik blocked it and landed a whirling haymaker to Krabs' face!

"SORRY, I DON'T HAVE LIFE INSURANCE!"  
Robotnik kicked Krabs in the crotch but that sent a massive pain through his leg due to how hard Krabs' shell was, stunning him for a moment! Krabs saw his chance and punched Robotnik directly in the manboob!

"THAT LINE DOESN'T MAKE ANY SEEEEEENNNNSE!"

Mr. Krabs punched Robotnik again, but Robotnik flipped around and kicked Krabs in the mouth! Krabs and Robotnik punched and kicked each other so fast that their limbs began to blur!

Neither of them were letting up, and they kept getting faster and faster!  
Robotnik saw his chance, kicked off of Krabs to get a safe distance and fired the massive amount of charged energy he'd been saving up since five minutes ago!

"HEY KRABS, IT'S TIME YOU MADE LIKE A KRABBY PATTY..."

Mr. Krabs saw the massive beam of blue energy heading towards him, and his eyes widened in fear!

"AND GRILL!"

The massive beam struck Mr. Krabs full force, propelling him downwards at instant terminal velocity towards the ocean floor, where he landed at full force!

Robotnik waited for a few minutes to see if he was going to get up with a second wind, but it looked like Mr. Krabs was down for the count!

Listening Music: Spongebob: Battle For Bikini Bottom- Spongebob's Dream

watch?v=mSzjxulx1cE

Splash Woman came back, riding on Drago, both of them thankfully unharmed!

"Well now, that was quite a scuffle, wasn't it?" Splash Woman smirked.

"YOU'RE ONE TO TALK!" Robotnik scoffed. "ALL YOU WERE DOING WAS RUNNING AWAY FROM A MISSILE!"

"Oh, I was so helpless and unable to help, having an incendiary device feet from me!" Splash Woman rolled her eyes sarcastically with a ridiculous tone of voice. "Get on, hotshot. We have work to do." She patted Drago's back, with a slightly flirtatious tone to her voice.

Robotnik hopped on! "HEH, I WONDER HOW MUCH MONEY WE'LL GET FOR TAKING DOWN URSULA AND KEEPING THE OCEAN SAFE-"

Loud footsteps were heard, as an extremely loud voice emanating from a red creature fast approaching rang throughout the water!  
"What the hell is-"

"I HEARD SOMETHING ABOUT MOOOOOOOONNNNNNNEEEEEEYYYYYH!"

Mr. Krabs skidded to a halt in front of the trio, salivating visibly despite the fact that he was underwater.

"So, money? Where's the money?"

"UHHH, I MENTIONED THAT THERE MIGHT BE A REWARD FOR TAKING DOWN URSULA-"  
"CAN I JOIN YOUR TEAM?!" Mr. Krabs got on the ground and groveled. "PULEEEZE?! I NEED TO GET DENTAL INSURANCE!"

Mr Krabs pulled open his jaw to reveal several rotten teeth. Both Robotnik and Splash Woman recoiled in disgust.

Splash Woman frowned. "Seriously, why would we want to-" Robotnik instantly stepped in front of her. "OF COURSE! WE COULD ALWAYS USE AN EXTRA PAIR OF FISTS- I MEAN CLAWS!" He winked at Splash Woman. She grinned, presumably getting the message.

"Oh, yes! You could share the reward from taking down Ursula!" Splash Woman winked back.

"HARHARHARHARHAR!" Mr. Krabs got on top of Drago (not in a sexual sense god no), behind Robotnik!

"AVAST ME MATEYS! LET US GO AND PLUNDER URSULA'S BOOTY!"

Robotnik and Splash Woman looked at each other uneasily, but Splash Woman turned around and ignored Krabs raving in the back!

"I know we're awfully heavy, but can you please try to get to Ursula's lair anyway? Please, Mr. Drago-Cutie-Pie?"  
Drago lifted himself off the ocean floor, roared loudly as massive turbines appeared from his wings, and sped off, with Robotnik and Krabs barely hanging on!

"CAN'T YOU SLOW THIS THING DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWNNNN?!"

Robotnik yelled, his voice echoing around randomly.

Listening Music: watch?v=kEKkrqZVhkA

Kingdom Hearts II- Riku's Theme

"Hmph. He betrayed me, did he?" Ursula turned around, fuming. "I should have known he would have defected at the slightest offer."  
Ursula grinned evilly. "BAH! I have other means of stopping these fools." She turned to a large door behind her and called out to an unseen presence.

"HEY, BIG BOY! GET OUT HERE, MOMMY NEEDS YOU TO EAT SOME INTERLOPERS!"

"But fish are friends, not food-"

"THEY'RE HUMANS, IDIOT!"

"Oh. Well, in that case… IIIIIIT'S CHOMPING TIME!"

WILL ROBOTNIK TRIUMPH OVER URSULA'S NEW MYSTERIOUS MINION?

WILL MR. KRABS EVER GET A DENTAL CLEANING?

MOST IMPORTANTLY, WILL ANYONE GET MY CRAPPY ATTEMPT AT FORESHADOWING?!

FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF ROBOTNIK'S GRAND DOMINATION, "ROBOTNIK FACES THE JAWS OF DEATH!"


	15. Ep15: ROBOTNIK FACES THE JAWS OF DEATH!

EPISODE FIFTEEN: ROBOTNIK FACES THE JAWS OF DEATH!

Robotnik, Splash Woman and Mr. Krabs stood at the entrance to Ursula's lair, which was a completely and utterly wrecked cruise liner. There were tons of cracks in the hull, but there was a huge golden door built into the side.

"HEEEEEERE WE ARE!" Mr. Krabs proclaimed loudly.

Robotnik and Splash Woman were too busy being freaked out by the massive amount of apparitions leaking out of the hull.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE SPENDS ALL HER MONEY ON THINGS LIKE THIS DOOR INSTEAD OF SAVING IT AND TALKING TO IT IN HER SLEEP LIKE ME-"  
"OKAY, LET'S GO!" Robotnik cut him off, not wanting to hear any more of that. He may have been an evil dictator, but he was an evil dictator with STANDARDS, no matter what his massive collection of failed pingas enlargement inventions may tell you.

Splash Woman turned around, and spoke to Drago in an extremely cutesy voice that made Robotnik want to vomit.

"Drago-puss, please wait here for mommy, okay?" Drago nuzzled Splash Woman in response.

"Who's the cutest giant robot dragon, you are, you are-"

"GET IN HERE!" Robotnik and Mr. Krabs both yelled. Splash Woman sulked and followed them inside in a huff.

Listening Music: Spongebob Battle For Bikini Bottom: Industrial Park

watch?v=nrUt7BoJFcw

The inside of the ship was much bigger than the outside for some unexplained reason. There were framed pictures of Ursula everywhere, flanked by wall-to-wall mirrors.

"SHE'S CERTAINLY VERY OBSESSED WITH HERSELF, ISN'T SHE?" Robotnik observed.

Splash Woman cracked up over the irony of the situation, which was lost on Robotnik, as he was too busy commentating on the surroundings.

"OH, YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT!" Krabs responded. "SHE BOILED ME FOR AN HOUR WHEN I SPILLED SOME OF MY KRABBY PATTIES ON THE WALL!" He shivered. "IT WAS AWFUL!"

"Well, only one way to go, and that's forward!" Splash Woman said. Robotnik and Mr. Krabs followed.

I'm sure you fine readers are getting bored of this shitty buildup, and I can't take any more of writing it, and I'm suffering from writers' block at the moment, so so here we go! FIGHT START!

Finding Nemo: PS2 Game OST 07: Minefield

watch?v=o3RSPrB-e8I&list=PL2F02934F9468527A&index=7

SUDDENLY THE ENTIRE SHIP SHOOK! ALL THE PICTURES BEGAN TO SHAKE AND SOME OF THE MIRRORS CRACKED!

"WHAT IS THAT?! SOME KIND OF GIANT SEA MONSTER?!" Robotnik yelled, while trying, unsuccessfully, to hide the fact that he was scared shitless!

Splash Woman swam to the window, not affected by the shaking since she technically wasn't standing on the floor of the ship! "There's nothing at the window! What is that-"  
"FOLLOW ME!" Krabs had already run to the other end of the hall and was pointing at a door! "I KNOW WHAT THIS IS! DON'T TRY TO FIGHT IT, JUST RUN!"

Robotnik and Splash Woman were not about to argue, and quickly followed Krabs!

They continued running through the halls, the ship shaking more and more repeatedly!

"COME ON OUT, TASTY HUMANS!" A loud, guttural voice rumbled throughout the ship, rattling everyone's eardrums!  
"WHAT IS THAT EXTRRRREMELY THREATENING PRRRRRESENCE?!" Robotnik shouted to Mr. Krabs as he frantically ran!

"THAT'S URSULA'S PRIZE FLUNKY! HE'S PRACTICALLY INVULNERABLE!" Mr. Krabs responded, panting heavily.

Splash Woman caught up with the two of them, and chimed in. "What do you mean invulnerable-"  
She was cut off by the entire ship rattling heavily, and the entire thing tilting at a 45 degree angle!

Robotnik grabbed onto a nearby windowsill, but Mr. Krabs was falling!  
"I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO REEEEEEEAAAAAD!"

Robotnik grimaced, and swung himself towards Mr. Krabs off the windowsill, catching him in midair!

"NO FELLOW MONEY-GRUBBING DIMWIT LEFT BEHIND!" Robotnik yelled before realizing how stupid that decision was, and that he was now falling!

Luckily, Splash Woman caught them both, and because she was a robot, she was extremely strong! And all of this became pointless because the ship righted itself!  
"Stop homaging old romance movies, and let's GO!" Splash Woman swam forward, Robotnik and Krabs following close behind!

They ran into a massive ballroom, and SUDDENLY…

The shaking stopped.

Stop playing the listening music at this time, please.

All three of the teammates collapsed to the ground, catching their breath.

"Well, whatever that thing was, seems to have gone away." Splash Woman wiped a sweat drop off her forehead.

MANUFACTURERS NOTE: Wily always installs a Spontaneous Sweat Droop Machine (SSDM) on all his robots! He does this so RPers won't be called on having non-canon sweat droops in forums!

"Whew." Krabs looked like a massive weight was taken off his shoulders. "I guess we won't have to deal with him after all-"

Listening Music: Finding Nemo PS2 Game OST: Minefield

watch?v=o3RSPrB-e8I&list=PL2F02934F9468527A&index=7

He shut his mouth instantly when he saw an extremely large shadow pass in front of the window! Krabs quickly hid in the corner, and Robotnik and Splash Woman followed.

"Don't even move!" Krabs whispered. "He can only see based on movement, so we should be fine."

The three huddled close together as the huge shadow moved in front of the window… and away. In front… and away. In front…. And away.

Robotnik could not help blushing from the position he was in, as Splash Woman happened to have her silicone chest positioned directly on his face! He didn't dare move, so as to not attract the massive shadow.

Eventually, it moved away for the last time, and A MASSIVE SHARK BUSTED THROUGH THE WALL!

Listening Music: SpongeBob Battle For Bikini Bottom: Rock Bottom

watch?v=t3vr5F5oZRU

A massive hole was busted into the side of the room, and a hugeass shark was grinning at them in all his toothy glory! All of them were utterly terrified!

"Hi. I'm Bruce." The shark's grin got even wider. "Hello, tasty humans."

Robotnik was going to say something, but Krabs stepped forward instead.

"BRUCE! HOW NICE TO SEE YOU!" Mr. Krabs announced loudly in a friendly tone of voice.

"Well, hello there, Krabs!" The shark apparently named Bruce responded. Robotnik and Splash Woman looked at each other in confusion.

"Well now, it looks like you've captured the tasty humans that Ursula was looking for! Why, thank you!" Bruce grinned toothily. Krabs looked back at Robotnik, and turned back towards Bruce with a worried expression on his face.

"Heh heh… okay, I'll just go take them to Ursula now! Bye now Bruce my good fellow, it was nice talking to ya-"

Bruce raised his eyebrow, or he would have if sharks had eyebrows. "Where are you going, Krabs? Ursula never said they needed to be taken alive! Come on!"

Mr. Krabs looked back and forth frantically between the two people standing behind him and the gigantic toothy shark staring him directly in the face.

"No." Mr. Krabs clenched his claws tightly, and stared Bruce in the face. "I've found something better than the scraps Ursula pays me! I've found friendship! I've found people who wouldn't sacrifice me at the drop of a hat! AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, I'VE FOUND ADEQUATE DENTAL INSURANCE!"

Bruce looked genuinely taken aback by Krabs' epic speech for a moment. Robotnik hoped this would lead to a spontaneous defect on Bruce's side too-

"Well, okay then. I'll be having a side of crab with my human."

Robotnik's jaw dropped.

All three of the companions looked at each other for half a second and immediately bolted for their lives!

WILL ROBOTNIK EVER DISCOVER THE TRUE MEANING OF FRIENDSHIP?  
WILL KRABS LIVE TO GET THAT DENTAL INSURANCE?

AND, WILL BRUCE REMEMBER TO GET THE TARTAR SAUCE FOR HIS TASTY HUMAN AND CRAB MEAL?!  
FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF ROBOTNIK'S GRAND DOMINATION, "ROBOTNIK RUNS LIKE HELL FROM A BIGASS SHARK!"


	16. Ep16: ROBOTNIK RUNS LIKE HELL FROM A BIG

EPISODE SIXTEEN: ROBOTNIK RUNS LIKE HELL FROM A BIGASS SHARK!

Author's Note: Bruce is from Finding Nemo.

Listening Music: Finding Nemo: PS2 Game OST 08: Submarine

watch?v=_a9G9MMG6c0&list=PL2F02934F9468527A&index=8

HUGEASS BLOODTHIRSTY SHARK!

BRUCE!

"COME BACK HERE, TASTY THINGS!" Bruce yelled loudly! He tried to force himself into the shipwreck, but his massive girth prevented him from fitting all the way, and he got stuck!

"Well, I tried the diplomatic approach!" Mr. Krabs said as he fled frantically.  
"DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING THAT CAN PUT DOWN THAT MONSTROSITY?!" Robotnik yelled in response.

"He may be strong, but he gets tired easily! If we can wear him out long enough- AAAAAA!"

Bruce slammed against the ship again, sending our heroes careening down the passageway!  
Splash Woman, who was not affected due to not standing on the ground, noticed a passage towards the lower decks of the ship!  
"Come on, dimwits, down there! He'll have a hard time getting to us in there!"  
Everyone ran into the passageway and frantically ran down the stairs!  
"WHERE ARE YOU, TASTY HUMANS?!" Bruce's voice rang through the ship like a foghorn on steroids!

The three looked around the room they were in frantically, but there was no way out!

"WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO HERE?!" Robotnik yelled.

Before they could react, the ship began to lift UP OUT OF THE GROUND!

"WAAAAAAAA!" All three of the people began to scream!  
"I think Bruce is turnin' this vessel upside down!" Krabs yelled. "I got an idea!"

Krabs grabbed a big dislodged beam, and started to lift it!  
"IF WE CAN USE THIS THING, WE CAN KEEP 'IM AT BAY!"

Robotnik and Splash Woman understood immediately, and immediately ran over to help lift the beam! They hefted it onto their shoulders-  
"HEEEEEEEEEEERE'S BRUCIE!"  
Bruce busted through the wall again, directly in front of them, and began to thrash around trying to get inside at the tasty little meat chunks in front of him!

The trio hefted the beam and bashed Bruce directly in the face with it!

"OW!" Bruce said.

The trio continued to do this again and again, and Bruce began to bleed visibly!

"Oooooogh- I'm feeling a bit tired-" Bruce began to move more slowly at a lethargic pace! Perhaps they could pull through after all-

"OH NO!" Mr. Krabs yelled in fear! "HE'S GONNA HAVE A RELAPSE FROM THE BLOOD! IT SENDS HIM INTO A BLOOD FRENZYY!"

Sure enough, Bruce ended up snorting the cloud of blood that was in the water, and his eyes got a dangerous shine to them!

Bruce immediately came back to his senses and began attacking ever fiercer, his thrashing causing the entire ship to begin to splinter and come down around them!

"COME HERE TASTY HUMANS! I HAVE A SPECIAL TREAT FOR YOU TODAY, A FREE TOUR OF BRUCE'S BELLY!" Bruce rambled on at the top of his lungs insanely!

The trio slammed him with the beam repeatedly, but he shrugged it off like it was nothing!

He chomped down on the beam like it was nothing, splintering it with a single bite!

Mr. Krabs happened to be in front of Robotnik and Splash Woman, and had an expression of extreme resolve and courage where there should have been fear!  
"YOU TWO! GO!"  
The two looked at each other, and immediately began to protest!

"Wait, what? Don't be insane!"  
"I WOULDN'T EVEN CONSIDER LEAVING A USEFUL ASSET BEHIND-"

"OH PLEASE!" Krabs flexed his muscles! "THEY DON'T CALL ME 'IRON SHELL' KRABS FOR NOTHIN! I CAN HANDLE THIS FOOL!"

He leapt towards Bruce screaming at the top of his lungs!

"COME AT ME, YOU BIG CLUMSY-"

He was cut off by Bruce simply opening his mouth and swallowing Mr. Krabs.

The duo ran like hell!

"I'M NOT LETTING YOU ESCAAAAAPE!"

The ship began to rumble intensely!

It flew up into the air, and Robotnik and Splash Woman got slammed against the floor!

THE SHIP BURST INTO SAWDUST AS BRUCE RAMMED HIMSELF ENTIRELY THROUGH IT!

Robotnik and Splash Woman were flailing around in midair!

Bruce quickly took notice of Splash Woman and bolted toward her, grinning evilly!

"YOU'RE MINE!"  
Splash Woman whipped out her trident in response!

"Not likely, you big son of a bitch!"  
She blasted bolt after bolt of energy at Bruce, knocking him for a loop!  
"NO ONE HURTS A FRIEND OF MINE AND GETS AWAY WITH IIIIIT!"  
Splash Woman charged at Bruce, her trident aiming directly for his eye!

Bruce noticed and quickly slammed her hard with his tail, knocking her away into a wall!  
Splash Woman sparked and popped!  
"Uugh, my propulsion circuits!" She looked towards the rapidly approaching Bruce with a mixture of fear and defiance!  
Bruce tried to chomp down on her, but her trident was keeping his jaws apart!  
"AAAAGH! IVO! HELP MEEEE!"

Listening Music: Sonic '06: The Time-Space Rift: His World (Sad Version)

watch?v=7Oe98iyl-q0

Robotnik had been attempting to sneak away from the wreckage of the ship when he heard Splash Woman's scream!  
He had figured, if he could get away scot-free, than he'd be able to come back later and properly finish off Bruce, but…

Then Splash Woman would be nothing but scrap metal.

Sure, Wily could rebuild her, but it wouldn't be the same one, would it?

Robotnik's head hurt from these moral struggles!  
He actually had friends for once in his life other than Wily, and he needed to keep them to progress his goals!

That, and it felt like… he'd feel sad for the first time in his life. He actually cared about another person!  
"NO NO NO! WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THE COLD UNFEELING ROBOTNIK-"

He shook his head. Now wasn't the time to be debating semantics!

IT DIDN'T MATTER HOW HE HAD CHANGED, SPLASH WOMAN NEEDED HIS HELP RIGHT NOW!

Listening Music: Sonic '06: Solaris 2 Theme

watch?v=Pth7sqodU-U

"AAAARGH!" Splash Woman's trident was beginning to crack under the immense pressure of Bruce's jaws! She was beginning to lose strength!  
"HEY, BIG BOY!" Robotnik yelled from far away!

Bruce let go of Splash Woman and turned towards the noise! She fell to the ocean floor and collapsed from exhaustion!

"SHE'S A ROBOT! SHE'S NOT TASTY AT ALL, TOO MANY BITS OF METAL!"  
He thumped his chest! "BUT ME, I'M PURE FLESH AND BLOOD! COME AND GET IT, YA BIG LUNKER!"

Bruce charged at Robotnik, but Robotnik stood his ground and epically posed in a dramatic fashion!

Right before Bruce could chomp on Robotnik, he leapt up, into the air…

AND ONTO BRUCE'S BACK, GRABBING ONTO HIS DORSAL FIN!

"YEEEHAW! GIDDYAP!" Robotnik slapped the side of the dorsal fin!  
"WHAT?! GET OFF ME!" Bruce thrashed around furiously, trying to get off the intruder, but Robotnik held on tightly!  
"WHAT'S THE MATTER, BRUCIE? CAN'T GET A TINY FLEA OF A HUMAN OFF YOUR BACK?" Robotnik laughed heartily!

Bruce charged towards a nearby rock formation back first, but Robotnik let go at the last second, causing Bruce to crash into the wall and a load of rocks to come down at batter him severely!  
"OW! OW! UNCLE! UNCLE!"  
"DON'T WORRY!" Robotnik swiftly moved over to Bruce's eye and the Robotnik Buster v1.5 started glowing!  
"UNCLE ROBOTNIK'S GONNA GIVE YOU AN EYE EXAM!"  
He unloaded the full charge beam directly into Bruce's eye!  
"OOOOWWWWWUUUUAAAARRRRGGGHGHHHHHHH!"

Bruce thrashed around furiously, before slowly coming to a stop and dropping to the bottom of the bottom of the ocean floor!

Robotnik posed dramatically, in an extremely epic fashion!

Listening Music: Spongebob Battle For Bikini Bottom: Spongebob's Dream

watch?v=mSzjxulx1cE

Robotnik slowly picked up Splash Woman's unconscious body and slipped it onto Drago's back.

"GO TAKE HER BACK TO ALBERT, AND MAKE SURE HE SENDS SOME BACKUP!"

Drago flew off in a flash, leaving Robotnik in front of the mysterious cave that had appeared from the wreckage of the ship.  
Clearly one way to go!

Robotnik charged in, rage plastered across his face!

WILL ROBOTNIK ACTUALLY TAKE DOWN URSULA?  
WILL WILY REMEMBER TO SEND BACKUP?  
AND WILL ROBOTNIK PULL ANOTHER PREVIOUSLY-UNSEEN WEAPON OUT OF NOWHERE?!

FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF ROBOTNIK'S GRAND DOMINATION, "ROBOTNIK GETS PUT IN A VERY COMPROMISING SITUATION!"


	17. Ep17: ROBOTNIK GETS PUT IN A VERY COMPRO

EPISODE SEVENTEEN: ROBOTNIK GETS PUT IN A VERY COMPROMISING SITUATION!

Listening Music: Spongebob SquarePants Battle For Bikini Bottom: Poseidome

watch?v=3KDinwCfvcg

(Make sure to set it to loop, I couldn't find an extended link)

Robotnik charged into the dark cave, Robotnik Buster up and poised! He was ready for anything that was about to come his way-

And he tripped, smashing his face into the floor.

"URGH!" He peeled himself off the floor in annoyance. "WHY DID I FORGET TO BRING A FLASHLIGHT!"

Robotnik traveled further into the cave, having activated the previously unknown flashlight on his Bubble Helmet. He still tripped every five minutes, but it was better than nothing.

(No that does not mean a drug trip that would be hilarious but no)

He was wandering around aimlessly into a tunnel when the GROUND COLLAPSED BENEATH HIS FEET!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Robotnik as he fell extremely fast despite being underwater.

His fall was broken by his fat butt landing on something extremely squishy!

RING RING RING RING

"Hello? Ivo? You there?" Wily's voice emanated through the helmet! He must have installed a transmitter for this exact purpose!

"INDEED, ALBERT!" Robotnik started getting up, but was having a fair amount of trouble!

"Oh, good! Listen, Drago got back with Splash Woman, she's safe and sound! Listen, I'm sending him back with some new upgrades, but where are you right now?"

"I WENT INTO A CAVE UNDERNEATH URSULA'S VESSEL, BUT I FELL THROUGH THE FLOOR!" Robotnik got up and began to move forward, but he was having a little bit of trouble moving on all the soft ground. "AND NOW I'M IN THIS BIZARRRRRE CAVE WITH THE GROUND ALL SQUELCHY-"  
"...What? Uh-oh. Ivo, you're going to want to get out of there NOW."  
"WHAT? WHAT'S GOING ON-"  
"GODDAMNIT IVO THERE'S A HENTAI MONSTER DOWN THERE!" Wily's voice exploded through the transmitter, and that was all Robotnik needed to hear. He bolted towards… well anywhere, he couldn't really see where he was going.

Listening Music: Contra 3: The Alien Wars: Red Falcon's Lair

watch?v=vGc7dGwEJE0

"Ursula's younger protege from Japan lives there! She's not as much of a jerk, but if anything she's TOO much of a sweetheart, if you know what I mean!" Wily chuckled to himself. "If you get stuck down there, you'll won't get out for over a year!"

"THAT SOUNDS EXTREMELY ANNOYING!" Robotnik yanked his boot out of some squishy mass. "THERE ISN'T EVEN ANY WIFI SERVICE DOWN HERE! I'LL MISS ALL THE NEW 'LIVE FROM HOTLAND' VIDEOS!"

Wily sighed loudly. "Ivo, I think you're missing the point- wait, you watch those? Why do you watch that idiot robot, those shows are just stupid pandering to his ego-"  
"THEY'RE HILARRRIOUS, THAT'S WHY! I CAN'T HELP BUT LAUGH UPROARIOUSLY AT THE OVERACTING OF THE- AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

Robotnik was immediately cut off by a long slimy thing wrapping around his leg! He blasted at it immediately, and it retreated!  
The flashlight on his helmet had fully powered up by this point, and had revealed the full extent of the scene before him.

Namely, a crapload of giant sea amenome-anemone-amenene-OH SCREW IT, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING!

Robotnik immediately began running like hell, blasting his way through several of the tentacley squishy things on the way!  
"Ivo, there's an exit on the ceiling! Get up there! I don't think that she's there at the moment, but you have to leave before her pets smother you!"  
"NO NEEED TO TELL ME TWICE!" Robotnik darted around one of the anenomes, vaulted over another, and continued running towards the hole in the ceiling!

Robotnik looked around, and saw several large rocks in conveniently ascending order!

"ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO!" He rushed towards them, wildly blasting away various wayward tentacles!

He leaped towards a rock, bounded off it, rushed towards another, almost had the exit-

But the ceiling had closed up on him, the hole cutting off!

"WHAT IS THIS?!" Robotnik yelled.  
"Well, there's some good news. If she isn't there right now, your body is safe for the moment." Wily responded.

An extremely loud noise sounded, and the entire room lit up in a bright electric neon green, and and an epicly loud rave song started playing!  
"WILY, WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?!" Robotnik yelled in an angry tone.  
"Well, the bad news is that her pet tentacle monster is in here, and you'll just be receive massive electric shocks and epileptic seizures instead!" Wily groaned.

A massive bizarre tentacled creature erupted out of the middle of the floor, roaring deafeningly! A bunch of jellyfish were attached to the creature's body, and they were flashing in a sickening array of different colors! Robotnik felt sick just looking at it!  
Topping it off were several fleshy protrusions resembling satellite dishes, which crackled and sparked with electricity!  
Several bizarre fleshy growths on the wall began flashing in many odd colors, bathing the room in an insane light!  
"NEVER THOUGHT I'D HAVE TO OUT-RAVE A SEA MONSTER!" Robotnik cracked his knuckles. "LET'S DANCE, BIG BOY!"

The Epileptic Anemone  
NEON BARINADE

Author's Note: Barinade is a boss from Zelda: Ocarina of Time. I added it in because otherwise this section would be too boring, and I didn't want that.

Listening Music: Zelda Ocarina Of Time Boss Theme Remix by This Channel is Not Active

watch?v=JoC3Vd5_NQ0

Neon Barinade instantly began the fight by launching various jellies at Robotnik, who fired nonstop at them to repel them! But it didn't work, and they split into a bunch of smaller jellies that were still sparking!

Robotnik quickly began to run around the room, trying to outrun them, but Robotnik was running underwater, and as we all know people can't run very fast underwater!  
"ALBERT, YOU HAVE ANY ADVICE FOR THIS?!" Robotnik yelled, as he leaped to the side to dodge a stray jellyfish!  
"Well, those jellyfish aren't going to yield to energy attacks, since they don't have a nervous system! So… your only option is to attack them physically!"  
"WHAT, LIKE PUNCH THEM?!"  
"You got any better ideas, Ivo?"  
Robotnik conceded that he did not, and proceeded to wind up and deliver a massive haymaker to one of the jellyfish, which knocked it back into the main body of Barinade, damaging it!  
"OH, I'M SUCH A DUMBOT! I FORGOT TO TAKE OFF MY RUBBER GLOVE!" Robotnik clenched the fist that didn't have the Robotnik Buster v1.5 on it. "WELL, I CAN CERTAINLY COPE WITH THIS!"  
Barinade began to throw various jellyfish at Robotnik in increasingly elaborate patterns, but he continued to punch and kick them all out of the way while making Bruce Lee Noises!  
"HYAA! HOOOOORRYYAAAAA!" Robotnik whirled his fist around, and uppercut the biggest disco jelly of all directly onto Barinade's core!  
It roared in pain, and began to whirl its tentacles around wildly in an erratic fashion to try to grab Robotnik!  
"OH, NO! MY PURITY IS ONLY TO BE LOST TO SOMEONE OF MY SPECIES!" Robotnik leaped out of the way of one tentacle, ducked under another, and grabbed another one when it came towards him! He flexed his muscles while pulling on it, and YANKED IT OFF!  
Neon Barinade roared as the stump spewed glowing green blood everywhere!  
Robotnik whirled around his new tentacle whip like a badass lion tamer, and beckoned towards his adversary!  
Barinade attempted to whip him with its remaining tentacles, but Robotnik lashed at it with the makeshift whip, causing it to recoil in pain!  
"HYAH! DOWN BOY!" Robotnik yelled.  
He lashed at it again and again, and Barinade's movements got more and more erratic! As the battle went on, the room stopped being a neon green and transformed into a sickly red hue!  
Robotnik attempted another lash at Barinade's body, but it grabbed the whip and began flailing wildly! Robotnik was not to be duped so easily, however, for he had let go of the whip before Barinade could slam him into the wall, and leapt towards the creature with blinding speed!"  
"IT'S TIME TO PROMOTE MYSELF TO SEA MONSTER BASHER, FIRST CLASS!"  
Robotnik punched the core of Barinade with tremendous force!  
Barinade began to go berserk, and started firing lightning all over the arena before yanking itself out of the ground and wildly rampaging towards Robotnik!  
He dodged out of the way, and on Barinade's return trip he jumped on top of it, unloading several massive energy blasts into the top of Barinade's body!  
Barinade roared again, and the satellite dishes on its head began glowing with a sickly green aura while making a pulsing sound!  
Robotnik began to charge up the Robotnik Buster v1.5 and braced himself for the massive beam that was incoming!  
Barinade fired a massive beam of electricity at Robotnik, and he responded in kind!  
The collision of the two beams generated a massive amount of noise, with a huge amount of light and sparks everywhere!  
Robotnik began to grimace! His beam was strong, but it wasn't that strong! He didn't think he could hold off the lightning onslaught for much longer!  
He thought to himself!  
"URGH! HOW DO I GET ITS ATTENTION AWAY FROM ME… WAIT, IT CAN'T SEE! IF I MAKE A NOISE SOMEWHERE ELSE, IT'LL AIM THE OTHER WAY!"  
Robotnik kicked a nearby rock at his feet, and it hit the far wall with an audible THWAPP!  
The THWAPP! Was apparently loud enough to fool Barinade, as it turned away from Robotnik for half a second, long enough for him to jump on top of Barinade again!  
Feeling him on top of it, Barinade aimed the satellite dishes for him, and by the time it had already started firing, Robotnik had jumped away!

BARINADE FIRED A MASSIVE BOLT OF LIGHTNING INTO ITSELF, AND SOON IT WAS PULSING AND SPARKING WITH ENERGY! IT ROARED AND FLAILED FOR A BIT BEFORE VIOLENTLY EXPLODING IN A MASSIVE EXPLOSION! ANENOME GUTS SPLATTERED THE ENTIRE CAVE, AND THE CAVE WENT DARK AGAIN!

Listening Music: Zelda Ocarina of Time: Boss Fanfare  
watch?v=gYOH41PjZKo

Robotnik pumped his fist! "YES! I DID IT!"  
"Don't do your victory dance just yet, Ivo, you'd better leave before she comes back!"  
Robotnik headed towards the now open crack in the ceiling, only to be grabbed by yet another tentacle!  
"OH COME ON!"  
Except this time, the tentacle was pulling him into another cave that was past the hole in the ground, and more quickly ensared him completely!  
"Ivo, what's going on in there-" Wily was suddenly cut off by an arm snapping off the antenna of the communication device.  
"There. Now no one can interrupt us!" As Robotnik struggled in the arms' suckery grip, their owner came into view! It was a…

…young woman with tentacles in place of legs?  
"Now, where were we?" She said as she pulled Robotnik closer, his struggling having no effect on her iron grip!

WILL ROBOTNIK BE SUPREMELY VIOLATED?!  
WILL SPLASH WOMAN FEEL JEALOUS THAT THERE'S A MORE ATTRACTIVE UNDERSEA CHARACTER THAN HER?!  
AND WILL URSULA EVER GET TO APPEAR IN PERSON YET?!  
SPOILER ALERT FOR THE LAST ONE: YES INDEEDY-DOODY!

FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF ROBOTNIK'S GRAND DOMINATION, "ROBOTNIK NARROWLY GETS SMOTHERED IN LOVE AND TENTACLES!"

Author's Note: If there are any marine biologists reading this and complaining about the incorrect terminology regarding tentacles and arms, I'm well aware of the difference. I just choose not to care.


	18. Ep18: ROBOTNIK NEARLY GETS SMOTHERED IN

EPISODE EIGHTEEN: ROBOTNIK NEARLY GETS SMOTHERED IN LOVE AND TENTACLES!

"Well now, let's continue where we left off…"

Robotnik couldn't move, but he was building up energy in the Robotnik Buster, waiting for the perfect opportunity!

"Mmm… I haven't had a guest in soooooo long…" The mysterious woman leaned closer, and closer, and clooooooooooser…  
ONLY TO RECOIL IN PAIN FROM A MASSIVE BLAST OF ENERGY TO THE CHEST!  
Robotnik had blasted his mysterious assailant directly in the face with the Robotnik Buster v1.5, and she loosened her grip long enough for Robotnik to nimbly escape!

"NOT LIKELY!" Robotnik aimed his blaster at the marauder cockily! (Please don't misinterpret that phrase.) "I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR PERVERTED SHENANIGANS! I'M HERE TO TAKE DOWN URSULA!"

She paused for a moment. "Welly now, that changes things."

Her many arms reared up menacingly, and she got into a battle stance!  
"I AM THE MIGHTY SCYLLA, SEDUCER OF ALL MEN, THE PRIZE PUPIL OF THE GREAT URSULA! I AM THE GREAT OCTO, AND NO ONE HAS EVER OVERPOWERED ME! AND YOU SHALL MOST CERTAINLY NOT BE THE FIRST!"

Listening Music: Legend of the Overfiend: Battle Amongst the Skyscrapers!

watch?v=OiccysInykA&index=10&list=PL41964CBAB09DA99B

SEDUCTIVE STRANGLER

OCTO!

Author's Note: Octo is from Monster Musume. Look up Chapter 36. Preferably alone.

Octo immediately began lunging towards Robotnik, punching him in the gut with one of her arms! He had the wind knocked out of him momentarily, but he recovered quickly enough to come back from it!

"HAHA!" Robotnik pointed and laughed. "YOU'LL HAVE TO TRY HARDER THAN THA- AAACK!"  
Oct had snaked one of her arms around his neck and was squeezing tightly! "Ha, you're all bark and no bite!" She squeezed tighter, Robotnik's neck muscles straining against the pressure!  
Robotnik blasted at Oct again, this time hitting her directly in the face!  
"Why, YOU!" Oct grabbed Robotnik's arm and squeezed tightly, causing the Robotnik Buster to crack and break down into a bajillion smitheroonies! "That's ENOUGH OF THAT!"  
"NOOOOO! MY GREATEST WEAPON!" Robotnik glared at Octo with the rage of a man who had had his greatest work of art shoved into a latrine and pissed on! "IT'S ON!"

Octo made to punch Robotnik, but he dodged out of the way! But Octo was quick, and whirled back around to smash Robotnik in the back!  
"NNNNGGHHOOOOOOOOHHHHH!" Robotnik groaned in pain!

"Hah!" Octo smirked, while sliding an arm around Robotnik's arm! "I'm MUCH too tough for an old fart like you to even scratch me!"  
"THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK!" Robotnik flexed his arm, and flipped his body suddenly, ripping off Octo's arm in the process!  
Octo yawned, and that arm instantly regrew!  
"WHAT?!" Robotnik yelled before the arm he had ripped off immediately began to constrict around him, gripping him tightly with its suckers! Octo laughed annoyingly!

"Oh, take a hint!" Octo smacked Robotnik across the face! "I'd like to see you try and beat me!"

Robotnik growled in anger, and flexed his muscles hard enough to pull off the severed tentacle, which he grabbed the end of and flailed around like a whip!  
"Heh heh, ohhh yes! I like that!" Octo whirled her arms around! "Let's see who comes out on top!"

She slammed her arms into the ground around Robotnik, who dodged quickly, and whipped Octo expertly with the severed arm! She shrugged it off, and kept attacking Robotnik ferociously, slamming and whipping every corner of the narrow room!

Robotnik jumped up and grabbed a stalactite on the ceiling, and swung the severed arm at Octo, but she grabbed it and yanked, causing Robotnik to be slammed against the ground hard!

He quickly rebounded and leaped towards Octo's torso, fists extended, and yelled in anger!

She began to furiously swing her arms towards Robotnik in a flurry of tentacle punches but Robotnik responded with a massive flurry of punches and kicks! Neither one of them was backing down!  
Octo tried to swing one of her arms into Robotnik's crotch, but Robotnik swung his legs shut to catch the offending appendage!

"I DON'T THINK SO!" Robotnik yelled. "NOW, I'M GOING TO HAVE SOME LIVE SUSHI FOR DINNER!"

Robotnik grabbed two of Octo's arms, and began to spin around in a circle vigorously!

"WAAAAaaaAAAAaaaAAAAaaaaaAAAAA!" Octo wailed!

Robotnik spun faster and faster until he and Octo were nothing more than a blur of spinning tentacles, and then he let go!  
"SO LONG, EH OCTO!" Robotnik declared.

Octo was sent careening into a nearby wall, and impacted with it so hard that the entire cave shook hard, with some of the stalactites falling off the ceiling and onto Oct's head!

"Ow, ow, OWW!" Octo slid to an upright position, and glared at Robotnik, a massive fire in her eyes!

"All right, let's see how you handle THIS!"

The room quickly filled with a thick black ink, quickly obscuring Octo's grinning face, leaving Robotnik in complete and total darkness!

"WHAT?! COME OUT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!"

"I'm not a man, in case you couldn't tell!" Robotnik felt an arm slam into the back of his head, and another punching him in the stomach!

"GRRRRRRGH!" Robotnik couldn't see jack shit in the darkness of the cave, and he was rapidly getting pummeled! He turned on his helmet flashlight, but he couldn't see Octo anywhere!  
But he could see the exit to the cave, and he immediately made for it before being grabbed again!

Tentacles snaked up his legs while forcibly dragging him back towards the inside of the cave, but Robotnik had a plan!  
He slammed his fist into the ground as hard as he could, and the cave began to shake! Rocks and stalactites began to fall from the ceiling, slamming into the offending appendages!

Robotnik saw his chance and ran, Octo's screams of frustration echoing throughout the cave!

"WHEW!" Robotnik shook his head to get the sweat off his brow, and looked around! There were many different branching passages, and due to plot contrivances Robotnik could not remember which one he'd come in from!

"HMM, IF I FOLLOW THE LEFT WALL, MAYBE I'LL GET OUT OF HERE-"  
Before he could move, the wall crashed open and Octo revealed herself, her eyes filled with RAAAAAAAAAAAGE!

"Hah… haaah… FINALLY!" Octo grinned maniacally, a crazed expression on her face! "GET OVER HERE! I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU!"

Octo began to furiously whirl herself around, wildly slamming into the walls, making the cave shake even more! Robotnik leaped around behind the rampaging woman, and grabbed two of her tentacles!  
Before Octo could react, Robotnik had tied the two tentacles in a knot!

Octo growled, and tried to whip Robotnik, but he grabbed a massive rock from nearby and chucked it at her head, knocking her off balance while he continued to tie her arms up into extrememly convoluted knots!

Soon enough, Octo couldn't move!

Robotnik surveyed his handiwork, and started to leave, but Octo leaped towards him and tackled him to the ground, making a earth-shattering crash!

Octo grinned as she gripped Robotnik tightly, the cave rumbling and collapsing around them!

"Well, now nothing can interrupt us!" She got closer, licking her lips creepily-

Just then, a massive rock slammed down on top of Oct, not harming her because of how squishy her lower body was, but trapping her completely!  
Robotnik took his chance and ran out of the collapsing cave, leaving behind the screaming adversary!

Stop the listening music temporarily please.

Robotnik panted in exhaustion from what he had just endured. He had finally gotten that creepy octopus lady off his tail, only to-

AAAHAHA, YOU DIDN'T THINK SHE'D GO DOWN THAT EASY, DID YA?!

START THE MUSIC AGAIN, FOLKS!

OCTO BURST OUT OF THE REMAINS OF THE CAVE, MORE FURIOUS THAN EVER!

She immediately began picking up massive amounts of rocks with her many arms, and started tossing them at Robotnik!

Robotnik's eyes widened in shock, for he could not get rid of these rocks without the Robotnik Buster!

He began to run sideways to dodge the massive onslaught, but Octo had plenty of rocks to spare from the collapse of her former cave, and continued hurling the volleys of deadly projectiles!

Robotnik suddenly had an idea!

He braced for the impact, and began punching the various rocks heading towards him with incredible speed, knocking them back at Octo!

Octo continued hurling her ammunition at Robotnik, but now she had to bat aside the returning fire from Robotnik, and she was a bigger target than ever now!

Robotnik continued kicking and punching the rocks faster and faster, and Octo was struggling to deflect them all! Soon, Robotnik was the one attacking, while Octo was defending!

But Octo, seeing the lopsided turn of events, began to whirl her tentacles around like a massive fan, creating a massive current of water to blow the projectiles back at Robotnik!

Robotnik leaped towards Octo, jumping and bounding off the rocks, propelling himself towards Octo!  
Octo snarled, swinging her tentacles at Robotnik, but he nimbly swerved out of the way, rocketing towards her with his mighty fist extended!  
Octo began to furiously punch at Robotnik with her many arms like Kenshiro!  
Robotnik responded in kind!

The speed of their fisticuffs sent massive shockwaves through the water, scaring all the little fishies out of their little caves!

"AYA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TA-TAAAAAA!" Robotnik yelled, and delivered a massive punch

Directly to Octo's chest, and she wobbled in pain!

Before Octo could escape or Block again, Robotnik grabbed her arms and began to swim towards the surface at a rapid rate! The water foamed up from the speed of Robotnik's ascent, and Octo struggled in vain to escape!

"I PROMISE I'LL BE A GOOD LADYYYYYY!" Octo screamed in terror as Robotnik ascended more and more rapidly!

Robotnik soon broke the surface of the water and his massive momentum carried him and his wriggling cargo into the sky! Robotnik swung Octo around so fast he nearly caused an F-5 tornado in the air, then punched her in the stomach downwards, sending her hurtling towards the water!

"SORRY, ONLY THE FINEST EVIL WOMEN ARE ELIGIBLE FOR MY GREAT PINGAS!" Robotnik scoffed.

Octo slammed into the water surface so hard, she caused a tidal wave that drowned some guy buried in the sand! (He got better.) After that, she sunk down slowly into the water.

Stop the listening music. For real this time.

Robotnik landed on the ocean floor, and surveyed the scene!

For some reason, Octo was nowhere to be found…

But more importantly, a massive rumbling occurred!

Nope. Start it again!

A gigantic clam rose up from the ocean sands, emitting a massive guttural roar along with it!

Robotnik was swept away and slammed into a nearby rock face from the massive current the enormous bivalve generated!

The clam opened, and OCTO was sitting inside of it, grinning evilly!

"Well, you got me! Now, meet my little cutie-pie! Say hello, Bacoon!"

The giant-ass clam roared again!

WILL ROBOTNIK TRIUMPH AGAINST THE FORCES OF THE TENTACLED LADIES?  
WILL OCTO GET DEVOURED BY HER OWN PET?! (Spoiler Alert: No. That plot device is overdone and I hate it.)

MORE IMPORTANTLY, WILL ROBOTNIK BE TURNED OFF SEAFOOD FOR LIFE BEFORE THIS ARC IS FINISHED?!  
FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF ROBOTNIK'S GRAND DOMINATION, "ROBOTNIK ENGAGES IN AN UNDERWATER DOGFIGHT!"


	19. Ep19: ROBOTNIK ENGAGES IN AN UNDERWATER

EPISODE NINETEEN: ROBOTNIK ENGAGES IN AN UNDERWATER DOGFIGHT!

Listening Music: Legend of the Overfiend: Battle amongst the Skyscrapers!

watch?v=OiccysInykA&index=10&list=PL41964CBAB09DA99B

Robotnik began to run like hell, screaming his head off!  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

But Bacoon was much too fast, and in too close proximity, for Robotnik to escape! It grabbed Robotnik's legs, and began whirling him around in the air, like a pizza dough!  
Robotnik was defenseless, since his blaster had gotten destroyed in the last chapter!

"NOOOOOOOO!" Robotnik screamed. "I CAN'T DIE!" HE NEARLY PUKED INSIDE HIS HELMET! "I HAVEN'T TAKEN OVER THE WORLD YEEEEEEEET!"  
Octo chortled smarmily! "Ha ha ha! Yes, you will meet your end at the mighty feelers of the great Bacoon! Then, Ursula will let me have all the men that she saves from drowning before she holds them for ransom!" Octo licked her lips menacingly! "Now, Bacoon's HUNGRY!"

Stop the listening music. I know, I know, just do it please.

Robotnik closed his eyes in preparation for the end, but…

Nothing happened.

Bacoon had dropped him, and was recoiling in pain!

"What is this?!" Octo pouted in annoyance! "WHO DARES TO HURT MY LITTLE BAKEY-POO?!"

Drago emerged from the shadows, and it had large turbines and laser cannons mounted on its wings, in addition to triangular sunglasses! He flew underneath Robotnik and caught him before he hit the ground!

Robotnik shook his head, and saw that there was a sticky note on the back of Drago's head!

"Hey, Ivo. Here's your backup. I know how much you like your big fancy toys, so I installed a control panel on Drago's back. Go kick some tentacled buttock for me! From, Albert."

Robotnik grinned. "OLD ALBERT ALWAYS COMES THROUGH AT THE LAST MINUTE!" Robotnik gripped the levers on Drago, and glared at Octo!

"ATTENTION, ROGUE SEA CREATURE!" Robotnik pressed a button, and Drago's wings opened to reveal turbines and big laser cannons! "I, THE GRRRRREAT DOCTOR IVOO ROBOTNIK, WILL NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER RETREAT, AND NEVER REGRET! SO, IF YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE ME…" Robotnik beckoned cockily, "TAKE! YOUR! BEST SHOT!"

Listening Music: Star Fox Zero: Intergalactic Attack Carrier

watch?v=PPqEI1TiogU

BIG BRUTAL BIVALVE!  
BACOON!

"RAAAAAAAARGH!" Octo screamed, and pointed at Robotnik! "GET! HIM!"  
Bacoon roared gutturally, and blasted massive amounts of bubbles at Robotnik, but he immediately swerved out of the way before they could hit him! He started mashing the fire button on the console, and Drago fired a huge volley of lasers at Bacoon's fleshy core!

Octo smirked and snapped her fingers, and Bacoon's shell clamped down on itself, causing all the lasers to bounce off harmlessly! The shell began to vibrate visibly, and several large volcano-shaped pores emerged!

Robotnik pressed another button, and Drago fired two massive torpedoes out of its wings! But Bacoon's volcano-shaped pores began to spout large worm-shaped things that rocketed towards Drago at an astounding speed!

Robotnik quickly jerked the levers over to the side, and Drago did a barrel roll to evade them, but they kept coming! He quickly pressed some other buttons, and a bunch of homing rockets zeroed in on the worms, blasting them to powder!

Drago quickly flew up above the volcano-shaped things and dropped a whole load of explosives into one of them, where they fell to the bottom and exploded which made the entire volcano-shaped thingamadoo fall off and explode!

"THAT'S IT!" Robotnik steered Drago towards the other three volcanoes! "BOMBS AWAY!"  
Robotnik zoomed back and forth over the fleshy holes, dropping bombs into each one until it exploded and fell to pieces!  
After the last one exploded, Bacoon opened up again, roaring in pain and rage!

"WHY DON'T YOU GIVE UP?!" Octo pointed at Robotnik ferociously! Bacoon fired a massive stream of bubbles at Robotnik, but he blasted them away like nothing!  
"SIMPLE BUBBLES WON'T KEEP ME AWAY!" Robotnik sneered, as he fired a salvo of giant laser bolts at the bubbles! They hit them…

And then they burst into a bunch of smaller bubbles, which kept moving towards Robotnik at an even faster pace! Robotnik swerved out of the way, but the Jetstream of bubbles grazed Drago's left wing!

Even more bubbles came toward Robotnik, but he was ready for them this time! He held the laser button on the console down, causing the turbines on Drago's wings to pulse with a shining green light!

"WAIT FOR IT…" The bubbles got even closer to Robotnik, with the enormous shiniess of them reflecting off of Robotnik's bubble helmet! "NOOOOOW!"  
Robotnik released the button, and a titanic beam came out of the turbines and utterly decimated the curtain of bubbles, so fast that they couldn't split apart!

Bacoon didn't waste any time in attacking again, and lashed out a large tentacle at Drago, but Robotnik did a barrel roll to get away from it!

Barrages and barrages of bubble danmaku and homing worm things blasted at Robotnik, but he continued to barrel roll over and over again, blasting furiously at the monstrosity!

Robotnik noticed two large fleshy protrusions holding up the top half of the bivalve's shell, and rocketed toward them to at an incomprehensible speed! He grinned, for he had a secret up his sleeve, or rather on his hand, that he hadn't revealed until NOW!

"INTRODUCING THE LATEST TECHNOLOGY OF RRRRROBOTNIK ENTERPRISES!" Robotnik pressed a big button on his chest, and his gloves began to glow! "THE ULTIMATE WEAPON, THE TRANSFORMOTRON!" Robotnik held up his hand, and a huge energy sword appeared on it! "I ONLY HAD TIME TO MAKE ONE SPECIFICATION FOR IT, BUT I'M SURE IT'LL BE MOOOOOOORE THAN ENOUUUUUUUUGH!"  
He zoomed past the fleshy pillar creating a veritable tornado of sword slashes, and after a couple of seconds it completely collapsed in a shower of bloooood! Bacoon roared in pain, and the shell tipped over on one side, completely lopsided!

"AAAAAARRRRRAAAAAAAAGHHHH!" Octo's screeches of fury could be heard throughout the ocean!

"HIYO, DRAGO, FORWARD!" Robotnik zoomed forward, barely staying on, as he completely toppled the other support and the shell fell on top of the inside of Bacoon!

But Bacoon's insides caught it, and it tossed the heavy object behind it, where it impacted the ground with a thunderous impact, and it shattered into many many many pieces!

Octo looked visibly stunned, but she was still looking mighty ornery!

"BAKEEEY-POOOOO! GEEEEEET HIIIIIIM!"

The core of the abominational creature pulsed, and began blasting more and more bubbles at Robotnik! But, not to be deterred, he sliced away half of them with the Transformotron Blade, while Drago continuously blasted massive salvos of energy blasts at the remainder, destroying them quickly enough so that they couldn't replicate anymore!

"READYING THE FINAL ATTACK!" Drago's massive cannons began gathering ludicrously huge amounts of energy, visibly causing vibrations throughout the water! When it finished, Drago launched an enormous ball of energy into the air, and Robotnik whacked it back towards the enormous mollusc!

Bacoon was not to be deterred, however, and backhanded it back towards Robotnik with a roar!

Robotnik hit it back ferociously, only for Bacoon to return the serve!

This continued for a few minutes, an intense tennis match with a giant energy ball!  
"ENOUGH OF THIS!" Robotnik pressed another button, and Drago began to spin around and around to a ridiculous revolution! The energy ball disappeared into the vortex!

Bacoon lifted its tentacles up in preparation, but it was too late!

Robotnik sliced the energy ball into lots of smaller pieces, so many that it couldn't guard against all of them!

The entire volley completely strafed the big bivalve into oblivion, and threw Octo all the way across the ocean!

"I CAN'T DIE! ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE NEVER DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!" Octo was thrown into the distance by the massive onslaught!

Drago stopped spinning, and Robotnik hefted the Transformotron Blade skyward! "SORRY, BUT THIS AIN'T ONE OF YOUR CHEESY ROMANCE NOVELS, IT'S THE BESTSELLING FANTASY NOVEL 'ROBOTNIK IS THE GREATEST WARRIOR ON THE FACE OF THE PLAAAAAAANNNNNNEEEEEEEETTTTT!"

He cleared his throat.

Stop the music.

"WELL! NOW…" Robotnik scratched his helmet. "NOW HOW AM I GOING TO FIND URSULA? I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT BEFORE I LAUNCHED OCTO AWAY…"

The ground started rumbling!

Listening Music: Star Fox Zero: Boss A

watch?v=4q6o9KgLjs0

"WHAT IS THIS?!" Robotnik yelled in a mixture of annoyance and fear.

The giant form of Bacoon, now shelless and covered with eyes and tentacles, rose up writhing before Robotnik!

"WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO HAVE MULTIPLE PHASES THESE DAYS?!" Robotnik growled to himself, before readying his mighty blade!

WILL ROBOTNIK EVER ACTUALLY GET TO URSULA'S LAIR?!

WILL WILY SHOW UP IN PERSON AS BACKUP?!  
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, WILL ROBOTNIK EVER GET SOME DELICIOUS MUTANT CLAM CHOWDER?!  
FIND OUT ON THE NEXT UBER-EXCITING EPISODE OF ROBOTNIK'S GRAND DOMINATION…

"ROBOTNIK TAKES ON THE MIGHTY UNDERSEA MENACE!"


	20. Ep20: ROBOTNIK TAKES ON THE UNDERSEA MEN

EPISODE TWENTY: ROBOTNIK TAKES ON THE MIGHTY UNDERSEA MENACE!

Listening Music: Star Fox Zero: Sector Beta

watch?v=Sn0up4P6HLk

The enormous tentacled monstrosity rose imposingly over Robotnik, screeching deafeningly!

"FINE!" Robotnik flourished his blade! "IF I CAN'T FIND THE WAY TO URSULA, I'LL JUST TAKE YOU DOWN INSTEAD TO TEACH HER A LESSON!"

MIGHTY MONSTROUS MOLLUSK!  
UNSHELLED BACOON!

The enormous creature immediately charged at Robotnik with an insane amount of speed! Drago whirled out of the way, just barely! Robotnik smirked and fired a volley of lasers at the eyeballs, causing Bacoon to shudder in pain!

"HA! NOW YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO PROTECT YOU!" Robotnik pointed dramatically! "VICTORY WILL BE MINE!"

Bacoon responded to this by swinging a massive arm in Robotnik's direction, but he dodged deftly! It whirled around again and began rapidly swinging its many arms around with incredible speed, trying to hit Drago, but it couldn't land a hit! Drago flew underneath it to dodge, but it lashed out with more arms to try and grab them!

Robotnik had AN IDEA!

He steered Drago in a complicated routine of bizarre whirls and dives, and Bacoon kept trying to grab them again and again! Eventually, Bacoon ended up tying its own arms in a massive knot! The great mollusk fell over with a thunderous CRAAAASH!

Robotnik saw his chance, and charged towards the massive bulbous eye in the center of Baccoon's head with all the speed Drago could muster, his pulsing energy blade at the ready! He prepared to swing-

And Bacoon fired a massive array of lasers at Robotnik out of all its eyes, completely catching him by surprise!

"WHAAAAT?! NO!" Robotnik glanced at the display of the screen, and saw that Drago had taken heavy damage, but was still online, for now! He grimaced, and punched the accelerator! Bacoon struggled with the knot its tentacles were in, while it continued to wildly fire lasers all over the place!  
Drago charged fo6rward, dodging the enormous salvo that was descending all around him!

"RAAAAAARGH!" Robotnik screamed a primal war cry as he descended upon the enormous central eye! He tossed a large piece of metal that he pulled out of nowhere towards the eye, causing its attention to be directed away from him by it blasting the metal thing to smithereens!

Robotnik had his chance, and he took it!  
He descended upon the massive eye and slashed it broadly! Bacoon screeched in pain, and immediately directed its monstrous gaze towards Robotnik, but he had already steered Drago away from the notice of it!  
Robotnik swooped back in for another attempt at the beast, but it was ready for him this time, and began spinning around extremely fast, causing a gigantic typhoon in the water! Drago struggled against the titanic current, but due to the damage from earlier, he was having a hard time getting closer!

Robotnik thought of a completely insane idea, and began grinning widely!

He began steering Drago towards the massive typhoon, and just before he got into it, he leaped into the raging storm, leaving Drago behind!

Robotnik entered the eye of the typhoon, where the massive swirling bulk of Unshelled Baccoon had created a massive air pocket, along with upheaving several massive rocks into the air around the beast for Robotnik to stand on! He ran towards it, bounding across the sequence of stones in enormous leaps!

Baccoon began to stop spinning, and glared its ginormous oculus of eyes at Robotnik!

"HEY, YOU OVERGROWN SEAFOOD DINNER!" Robotnik yelled, while grabbing an enormous piece of rock from nearby! "CHOKE ON THIS, PEARLY!"

He tossed the giant rock at Baccoon, and then ran to jump on top of it, riding it towards the bulk of the gigantic creature like a huge surfboard!

Bacoon turned towards him, and charged up a huge laser! Robotnik gritted his teeth, and readied his Transformotron Blade for the impact!

The massive laser rushed at Robotnik, and it struck the surface of the blade! Robotnik struggled for a second, before swatting the burst of energy away! More and more lasers fired at him, and he swatted them all away like NUCLEAR FLIES! The last one he sliced directly in half, and the pieces of the beam split into atoms behind him as he rocketed forward towards Bacoon!

Bacoon wasn't done yet, however! It began lashing out at Robotnik with a long tentacle, directly toward the makeshift rock surfboard! Robotnik would not be deterred, and jumped off the thing directly on top of the creature's arm!

It immediately whirled in an attempt to get Robotnik off, but he had already jumped onto another arm, kicking off to land on another! Robotnik leaped from appendage to appendage faster than a Buzz Bomber on WD-40 spiked with cocaine!

"URGH, HOW DO I GET RID OF THIS CANTANKEROUS CREATURE?!" Robotnik wondered aloud to himself while doing a triple backflip around three more tentacles! "IF IT'S LET LOOSE, IT'LL DESTROY EVERYTHING! THERE HAS TO BE A WEAK SPOT-"

As he thought that, he noticed a rather large sore pulsating on the back of Bacoon's ginormously globular body!

"WELL, THERE WE GO!"

Robotnik hefted his great blade, and charged toward the enormous weak spot! Unfortunately, before he could attack it, Baccoon had turned around, and blasted a massive laser at Robotnik! He was caught directly in the middle of the blast!

But Robotnik was not to be deterred, for he had angled the Transformotron Blade in such a way so that he could slice the gigantonormous beam directly in half, saving him from the brunt of the blast! He jumped out of the way shortly after, and Baccoon immediately began firing wantonly around the battlefield in a desperate attempt to hit its tiny adversary

Robotnik had an IDEA! He began jumping around on the various chunks of rock that were flying around, and kicked them all toward Bacoon in rapid succession! Bacoon started blasting at every single one of them with unparalleled speed, but Robotnik's earthy onslaught was proving to be too much for the mammoth mollusk, and pieces of rock began to hit its eyes repeatedly!

All this proceeded to distract the creature immensely!

Robotnik leaped around to the other side, and sliced directly into Baccoon's weak spot with the Transformotron Blade at the speed of ten slashes per second, the sheer speed of the blade cutting through the air itself!

"I'LL TURN YOU INTO CHOWDER, YOU TITANIC MONSTRRRROSITY!"

Robotnik grabbed Baccoon, tossed the massive hulk into the air, and SLICED IT DIRECTLY IN HALF WITH THE TRANSFORMOTRON BLADE, AND THE TWO HALVES CRASHED TO THE GROUND WITH A THUNDERRROUS KABLAMM!

Stop the music.

Robotnik dropped to the ground expertly, landing on his feet!

"GAME! SET! MAAAAAAATCH!:"

This moment of exultation lasted all of two seconds before Robotnik realized that now, he had no idea where Ursula was!

"URGH! I SHOULD HAVE KEPT THAT WEIRD OCTOPUS LADY AROUND, SHE COULD HAVE TOLD ME!"  
"Not to worry, Ivo! I've got her right here!"

Robotnik looked up, and there was…

WILY, in a large submarine looking thing adorned with a huge skull with a pirate hat, along with several gigantic cannons!

(For reference, this is the Wily Machine from Mega Man 10.)

"Get on, will you? We've got a horrible ex to take care of!"

WILL DOCTOR ROBOTNIK EVER FIND URSULA?!  
WILL THE TRANSFORMOTRON GET ANY NEW SETUPS?!

(Spoiler Alert: Yes, of course it will.)

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY… WILL OCTO GET TO BE A RECURRING CHARACTER?!

FIND OUT ON THE NEXT! ULTRA! BOMBASTIC! EPISODE! OF ROBOTNIK'S GRAND DOMINATION…

"ROBOTNIK INTERROGATES THE TENTACLED MAIDEN OF SEDUCTION!"

Author's Note: I sincerely apologize for the lack of updates. I meant to update more consistently, but you know, life gets in the way. As well as procrastination.

In all seriousness I will try to update this story at least twice a week. I've got my motivation back, so that's why updates were slow for a bit. See you on the next episode!

Oh and the Ursula arc's not done yet, it's like halfway through. Trust me, it'll be worth it towards the end!


End file.
